


Soundwave the Creeper

by Darst-Llah (Darst002)



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Angst, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-31 16:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1033776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darst002/pseuds/Darst-Llah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unrequited feelings make Soundwave do something he hadn't done in a long time and was never planning to do again.  But as deep buried past surfaces unexpectedly, things spin out of his control quickly. Ravage sets himself on a mission to rescue his host from himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Oh, slag!

**Author's Note:**

> Art for the story: [Soundwave and Ravage ](http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/271/0/5/soundwave_and_ravage_by_darst_llah-d6o9crn.jpg)

Soundwave was marching through Nemesis, as inscrutable and enigmatic as ever. Yet, there was something to his movements that made the drones on his way scatter quicker than usual. Some edge that passed around the message that the Communications Officer was best given as much space as possible. They were only happy to do so.

Not that Soundwave seemed to pay much attention to his surroundings at the moment, but you'd never know. Inside him, his circuits were overflown with emotions.

It was most unfortunate and stupid to intrude upon Megatron's private time with Airachnid! But how was he supposed to know?! He had no surveillance means in his lord's private chamber and even if he had he would never dare to maintain such surveillance. If Megatron didn't want to be disturbed, he should have switched off the visual comm!

Or Soundwave himself could be more observant and notice that Airachnid was nowhere within his surveillance range and remember she hadn't been assigned any off-ship missions lately. .. Yes, he should have foreseen… And since he couldn't blame his lord, the full weight of it fell on himself.

Even though there probably wouldn't be any concequences on Megatron's part, the damage was done. And though his lord waved dismissingly at his hasted apology before Soundwave cut off the visual line, Airachnid's eyes had narrowed in malice. She wasn't delighted to be caught interfacing.

Laserbeak fluttered her wings against her host chest plates as Soundwave turned yet another corner. The waves she sent were soothing, but it did little to ease the TIC's rushing mind.

He didn't fear the spider's comeback. He was superior to the bitch.

But the scene was locked in replay on the internal surface of his visor and he couldn't get rid of it. It had been too long since he had last allowed himself this kind of release and the experience had been embarrassing then. The shitload of gossip it produced too! "Soundwave the Creeper…"Hopefully the story was dead now in the memory of the crew, left back on Cybertron, together with his adversary. It had been too long. And now, triggered by the hot scene he witnessed albeit briefly, all this pent up energy was whirling around seeking release and would not be lulled down.

While it wasn't uncommon for 'con officers to turn to each other, the spy 's careful probability calculations showed that it was highly unlikely to find someone sharing or at least tolerating his berthtime manners.

Soundwave called up the personal profiles of Nemesis higher officers in his processor and discarded them one by one.

He came to terms with the fact that he could never have the one person he truly desired. But now he was running out of substitute options as well. Frustrating. Clicking the cooling vents into overdrive, Soundwave tried to cool down (literally) enough to think. His core temperature didn't slow its climb into the red zone. Seemed it was overload or overheat.

All the sultry calculations must have awakened Ravage, who had been in stasis-like slumber for what felt like ages. Cat's inquiring mind meddled into Soundwave's thought process, demanding to be instantly informed of the commotion cause. Soundwave let him roam around his databanks freely to find the answer himself.

/Request/ the cat pinged and made his plea. Soundwave ex-vented. He knew – as did the cat – that he'd do his best to grant Ravage his whim even if it narrowed the possible 'facing partner choice to negative figures.

Internal playback still locked onto few seconds of troubling imagery. He should probably return to his quarters and deal with it solo, frustrating as it was.

The solution presented itself on the way home in a form of an eradicon carrying a shining stack of four energon cubes. Soundwave felt cat's purr tremble inside him. Ravage was in a mood for a hunt. As was his host.

D011G, an eradicon called DOUG by his fellow vehicons was out of his luck today, it would seem. He was one of the first to get nearly fried by the autobots who had tried to raid the energon mine this night. Then he had spent what seemed to be an eternity waiting for doctor Knock Out to patch him up ('con justice: first ones to get wounded are the last ones to receive treatment). And now the good doctor sent him to replenish the energon supply for the med bay instead of sending him off to recover and that undoubtedly was this day's misfortune.

Thus thinking, Doug turned the corner and nearly bumped into the TIC. Recognizing his superior, the drone stepped aside to let the officer pass. Soundwave didn't move.

"Where are you going with this?" – Starscream's slightly distorted voice sounded, reproduced by the spy. Irony. The con that Soundwave disliked most among the Decepticon elites was also the one he quoted most often. Of course, the former SIC's big mouth had some use as he provided audial footage for nearly any day-to-day situation.

The eradicon reported according to the protocol. Judging by his voice, he wasn't alerted by the encounter… any more than any of them would when stopped by a higher officer.

"…wellbeing… will have to wait" – Starscream's rich obertones were masking Ravage' purr in his voice now. Soundwave silently called the Cassette to order and switched to his favorite voice "Walk with me" – his lord's voice said without his usual force. It was a very ancient recording, one of the first he made, but Soundwave liked to re-play it.

"Yes, sir!"

Soundwave led the way to his chambers, without paying further attention to the con.

Once inside, Laserbeak detached from her place and settled atop a working table, facing away in a silent pretense not to care to witness.

/Drama queen/ - Ravage silently teased her.

The drone froze at the door, unsure of what was required of him.

"Sir?"

Soundwave pointed at energon then at the table. As Doug went to put the crates where ordered, the bigger con twisted, his back plates parting and letting Ravage finally out.

The cat detached from his host and fell to the ground, transforming on the way. His paws produced a noticeable thud as he landed, though you could call it silent given the beast size and mass.

The eradicon stared. Ravage had never walked Nemesis before, so the current crew never had a chance to watch the cat-like creature emerge from Soundwave's back. It looked... painful. Though Soundwave would laugh at this observation - why would he make it painful, indeed?

The door slid close and the lock clicked, following TIC's wireless command. Doug stood at attention, trying hard to ignore the cat's piercing gaze as the technimal circled him. He awaited a command.

Soundwave felt sparks of confusion and fear pierce the 'con's EM field and found them very gratifying. With each passing nanoclick the fear patterns grew until the whole eradicon' EM field was covered in them. Ravage purred.

Soundwave searched for a suitable voice record and finally found one - a very old one. The con' wouldn't even recognize this voice.

"Uncover your ports. If I have to do it myself, there will be... pain"

Eradicon squirmed with panic and took a step back "Sir?.."

Ravage's long tail lashed out as a whip and hit the con right across his aft, sending him forward. As his attention shifted to the cat, Doug didn't expect Soundwave' feelers rush out and circle around his frame, their tips crawling under his armor and plugging into his cabling.

"No, sir, please, stop!" - the con exclaimed as he felt foreign impulses intrude his circuits. Soundwave's EM-field expanded and intensified around him, a suppressing presence that filled the eradicon with a notion that any struggle would be futile.

His peds didn't touch the ground anymore, as he got lifted, hanging off the tentacles, and as the smaller con tried to voice his plea again, he found that his vocalizer was offline, cut off the circuit by Soundwave.

With terror the eradicon felt the covers protecting his private ports shift aside, his own command to them to stay put painfully overridden. Doug twisted and trashed in anguish, trying to free himself, his panic only fueled by the waves of amusement coming off his captor.

Long blue arms grasped his shoulders, taking off the weight from the feelers, so that the spy could reposition them. The feelers retracted only to return a click after, circling around 'con's legs and arms, tying his knees to elbows in an awkward and very vulnerable pose. Doug twisted and turned, trying to tear off the spy's grasp, but Soundwave was holding him fast. The eradicon found himself facing away from Soundwave now, hanging in the CO's grip. He desperately tried to online the voice box back to ask, to plea for this to stop, but the feelers were digging under his armor yet again and yet again his circuits got invaded.

Soundwave made a few steps back and sat down on his berth, keeping his prey dangling in front of him. The eradicon still tried to resist, though his movements weren't so rush anymore. His panic and anguish were most delicious. Soundwave contemplated giving him his voice back to enjoy the screaming as well, but that would be unwise.

Ravage followed their movement and positioned himself in front of the victim, his audials flat against his skull, his head low, optic never leaving the eradicon.

Soundwave felt his link to Ravage pulse and broaden as his Cassette requested the full feed. The request was granted.

/Enjoying the view?/ - the spy asked his oldest creation.

/Very much. Let him see me. I want him see me/

Soundwave turned his vic a little and fastened the bonds, so that Doug would have no choice but to stare at his own reflection on Ravage' polished muzzle.

The 'con's EM field that was pulsing light brown with panic turned grey on the outskirts with despair slowly building up and its pulse hastened against Soundwave's own field, adding fuel to the roaring blaze of the silent mech's desire.

Soundwave sent the first code packages through his feelers, just as his own heated covers shifted aside revealing the 'facing cables, loaded and sparkling with potential energy.

The vehicon shuddered, as his circuites got violated with the foreign code. Soundwave addressed his peripheral control centers, invoking the middleware protocols responsible for transfluid generation. His body was heating up despite the cyberpsyche being repulsive of the fact. Tantalizingly slow the vehicon was lowered to the spy's lap and only as the 'facing cable intruded his receiving port did Doug truly believe this was indeed happening to him.

They weren't truly compatible being different class, but the mild ping of pain warnings from the ports elastics being stretched was nothing compared with the full-blown pain that followed an attempt to engage anti-virus protocols and purge the invading code from his systems.

The pain strangely strengthened the eradicon's resolve and he trashed around, trying to find a leverage for his peds or hands and free himself. Soundwave was pleasantly surprised and transmitted his emotions into his victim's circuits. He was toying with the smaller mech, letting him scrap off his lap a few inches and then pulling him back onto his cabling. Transfluids had flown in, improving the energy transmission, and Soundwave started to dump his swap files into the eradicon' defenseless system.

The suppressing presence that Doug was feeling through Soundwave's energy field dominating over his was now intensified manifold as his cyberpsyche was forced out of his own body circuits, chased to the sanctuary of his processor, forced to bear witness to his own desecration. At this point Doug wished he could go offline. But he was forced to see, hear and feel every bit of it.

It took some time for the 'facing ports to adjust to unfamiliar models, but with the added conductibility of transfluids, they locked tightly, securing the broadband.

A power surge ran up the navy spy's body and transferred to the violet vehicon, shaking his neuro net. Vehicon' stakes were full with his own emotional twists, and the overload was close. Doug was panting, only barely registering, that he was now allowed some freedom. But he had no force to use the opening, riding out the first powerfull wave of overload...

As he got back online, he found himself in the same predicament, his circuits already charged up and the next overload approaching. Soundwave continued swapping into him and showed no sign of exhaustion. The metal seemed to hum.

/I will now give you back your voice box/ - the telepath message appeared inside Doug's processor. /Moan for me/

"Like scrap I will!" - Doug thought in response but as his voice box finally onlined, it was exactly what he did. The new overload engulfed him and dragged him into oblivion and he did exactly that - moaned, sharp fingers scrapping absently at blue legs under him.

As he got back online, the eradicon found himself in the same predicament, both his living and non-living metal singing with electric charge. He moaned with new data being fed into him, earning an approving surge from his torturer. Eradicon optics focused with some effort and his gaze rested on Ravage, the cat likely to devour the vehicon with his stare. Ravage stood perfectly still, though the pose implied the technimal was ready to jump. Static discharges ran down the Cassette's spine in synch with those Soundwave passed into 'facing. It wasn't long before he was out again, his limited databanks overloaded. After that it was all kind of blurry. The con kept on-and-offlining, but he was too disoriented to properly register his overloads. He must have been vocal too. He should have been afraid or hurt, but there was no capacity for either of that left in him, everything washed away by repeated blissful overloading.

Ravage was lost in Soundwave's feed. It always felt good to be on the receiving end of the telepath's link, but this here.. Soundwave passed along everything - the tiniest swirls and spikes of both his and his object's emotions, raw data that filled the Cassette's sensors so naturally that he could actually feel everything. His own static surges were merely manifesting the things he felt.

Sensing the new edge to Soundwave's spasm-like discharges, Ravage purred, anticipating the climax. The last packages of swap transmitted, the spy sealed the link releasing all the remaining potential in one overwhelming discharge. Doug was out cold.

Soundwave rushed past the discharging shudders into the zone of blessed post-facing tranquility. He didn't offline - that would be inferior for someone of his psychic capacity. Nevertheless, he froze for several clicks savoring the feeling of absolute freedom and satisfaction. Ravage laid down carefully, his hind legs trembling slightly, enjoying the afterripples.

In this sudden silence Soundwave became aware that his cat was not the only one in for the datafeed. Sensing herself discovered, Laserbeak moved her wings slightly acknowledging her presence. A joke was to be made, but neither of them wanted to disturb the tranquility that was so hard to achieve.

Finally Soundwave stood up, ungraciously dumping his random facing partner on the floor. He walked across the room, carefully stepping over Ravage who regarded him warily with one optic. There was a question in his gaze and Soundwave nodded briefly. He had no interest in whatever the cat was up to.

Ravage moved to the 'con sprawled on the floor. The poor thing panels were still open, transfluid oozing out of the 'facing port. The cat's glossa shot out sampling the fluid. Yes, there definitely was Soundwave's CNA in there too. The spy may be too content to worry over such things now, but his loyal Cassette considered it his duty to make sure no one would exploit this momentary weakness. Besides, there was something about Soundwave's fluids that always tasted so good to the technimal. Must be how symbiosis worked.

Ravage set to lick up whatever trace his master's biology has left on the eradicon. He sipped up a small pool on the floor and began licking the remnants out of Dougs facing port.

The eradicon stirred a little and moaned, soft touches _right there _causing residual electric shudders to rocking his frame. He mumbled something and stirred to rise, but a heavy paw pressing him to the ground delivered a message and he froze.__

__Soundwave paid no attention to Ravage's actions, absent-mindedly stroking his other pet._ _

__Laserbeak leaned into her host touch, and a small electric burst passed from his fingers to her wings as he stroke her with rare tenderness. All symbiotic links were fully open and empty. Soundwave was at ease, however temporary, first time in a long time._ _


	2. Busted!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There'll be no one unless that someone is you-u-u  
> I intend to be independently BLUE...

Ravage's glossa moved in and out, scooping up the tiniest droplets of mixed transfluids that contained CNA of his creator. Every time the eradicon tried to move, Ravage would growl his warning. Every lick triggered a small discharge within the poor eradicon and when the technimal was nearly done with his self-appointed task, Doug went over again.  
Soundwave paid no attention to this... scavenging. As he was done, Ravage jumped onto the berth and got himself comfortable, cleansing his muzzle with his paw to get the droplets that managed to escape his intake. His narrow yellow optics locked onto the panting vehicon on the floor.  
/He appears to have really enjoyed it, boss/ - Ravage' transmission carried over mild surprise as well as amusement.  
/Insignificant to me/ - Soundwave responded.  
Laserbeak tuned in some human high-frequency and transmitted the radio into their shared link.

/Love me or leave me and let me be lonely  
You won't believe me, but I love you only  
I'd rather be lonely than happy with somebody e-e-else-e.../

Soundwave froze. /stop it/ - he demanded.  
But somehow Laserbeak felt it was a time for a little symbiotic rebellion.

/...Regretting instead of forgetting with somebody e-e-else-e...  
There'll be no one unless that someone is you-u-u  
I intend to be independently BLUE.../

/LASERBEAK! DESIST NOW!/ - Soundwave was so rare to lash out at them...  
The transmission stopped and in utter silence Ravage soft telepathic voice appeared deafening  
/really, sis... that was over the line/

Soundwave blocked the link to both of his creations.  
For a few clicks he was just standing there.

This was the scene the con woke up to: nobody moved. Doug scrapped himself off the floor, limbs still a little shaky, and took a hesitant step toward the officer.  
Soundwave did nothing to acknowledge his presence.  
Doug straightened up. "I... hope you're not disappointed... sir" - yep. His voice was as shaky as his knee joints.

The sound snapped Soundwave from his stasis-like state. The spy glanced at his victim, then took one of the energon cubes that were supposed to be delivered to the med bay. He opened the cube and dipped his tube-like feeler in. He drank up half of the cube before setting it aside on the table.

/You may have the rest/ - he transmitted to the vehicon on a frequency the con wasn't aware he could read before.

Doug contemplated if he should thank his superior for the energon, but his vocaliser wouldn't obey. Pieces of foreign code were still roaming his nets causing glitch after glitch.  
He nodded and quickly downed the part offered to him.

/Soundwave to Knockout: Doctor, do you copy? Are you scheduled full this cycle?/

/Knockout: Soundwave! You've passed a mandatory check less than 5 cycles ago! Did something happen?/

/Negative. Positive. Ravage: activated. Knockout's assessment: desirable./ Soundwave quickly fell back into his usual minimalistic talking patterns. Routines were good.

/Wow! His nanos finally completed the regeneration process? I'm flattered you're turning to me for an opinion - I thought you preferred to service your symbiotes yourself. Lemme see... come in an orn, I'll squeeze you in/

/Soundwave: grateful. Soundwave: requesting apology. Soundwave: took one energon cube from medbay' supply. Soundwave: will replenish the loss. Query: objections?/

/Erm... I don't mind as long as I get restocked. Knockout out./

Terminating the link, Soundwave realised he was the center of everyone's attention. Pointedly ignoring his Cassettes (links were still closed), he addressed the vehicon:

/D011G, get the energon to medbay. Doctor informed of your delay/

The vehicon was taken aback by being addressed by his assigned name. But he quickly recovered his wits and scooped up the remaining cubes. As he was already in the doorway (the door let him out following Soundwave's wireless command), he gathered all his courage to turn and say:  
"Sir, if you ever need to.. do that again, you don't need to look any further... than the con in front of you"

Soundwave startled at that, then marched over to the con and hovered over him, the telepath's EM field intruding his occasional 'facing partner's  
/I won't/ - the field carried over, leaving the con to interpret it as he may. /Dismissed/ - the TIC commed then, turning away.

As Doug was already leaving, something brushed across the back of his legs. He looked back to see Ravage staring at him with an inscrutable muzzle (no wonder for a cat, right?) "Cute-sssie.." the cat purred.

It was not before Doug finally left that Soundwave finally restored communication with his symbiotes. Immediately their joint transmission filled the link:

/YOU LET HIM GO?!

Soundwave, why are you letting him go?/

/What do you suggest I do?/

/SCRAP HIM!/ - the joint wireless yell of his symbiotes could easily fry a weaker neuro net.

/no/ - was all the spy answered.

/Congrats, sis. History is repeating/ - Ravage observed with a tone that suggested that he was giving up.

/Boss, you do realize that he will rat you out at the first chance?/ - Laserbeak obviously still cherished a hope to bring reason into her host' processors

/Why would he admit his humiliation?/ - for someone of his intelligence, Soundwave could be remarkably clueless when it came to social matters.

/...because he liked it?/ - Laserbeak let her despair infiltrate the transmission.

Soundwave contemplated this for a while.

/Insignificant. I'm not scrapping a Decepticon/

To his mild surprise, Ravage crossed the room and brought his head close to Laserbeak's main processor. Thus the symbiotes merged their fields and managed to communicate directly, not using the link they shared with their creator.

Conspiracy.

Soundwave couldn't care less.

* * *

In an orn, Soundwave was at the medbay doors, as agreed.

Ravage strolled by his side, looking absolutely innocent.

The door slid apart and revealed a very displeased Knockout, arms folded across his chassis.

Ravage strolled in first and the doctor's gaze softened somewhat at the sight of the technimal:

"Welcome back online little fellow. Hop on" - and he patted the examination table.

As Ravage got comfortable, Knockout turned to Soundwave who stepped in holding a cube of energon in his hands.

"Holy scrap! You're walking like this in public?!"

Soundwave startled and hesitated, checking his systems. Everything seemed OK. He made a questioning gesture emphasizing it with a question mark on his visor. "There" - Knockout pointed. Yup, there they were: telltale scraps on navy thighs and pelvic cover.

"And here I hoped the trooper had been delirious... And eradicon, Soundwave, really?!" Knockout stopped talking, turning all of his attention to Ravage, but it was obvious, he still had a lot to say on the matter.

/Told you, you should have scrapped that little vixen/ - Ravage transmitted, while following the light as instructed.

The cat's "I told you so" was so predictable. Trust Ravage to always live up to your expectations.

Switching the tools, Knockout continued: "Surely, you are aware that Lord Megatron strictly prohibited interfacing across the ranks? He'll be furious if he finds out"

/Soundwave to Knockout: can you buff it out?/

"No way! I'm not touching you there!"

Knockout adjusted his equipment and got ready to check the technimal's system readings.

"There's the polish kit" - he gestured over his shoulder, - "do it yourself"

Soundwave took the tool.

"You have nearly fried the guy. Your classes are incompatible. What were you thinking? The poor thing had your code snippets all over him like some kind of a virus. His nets were glitchy. I had to pull up partial system restore from backup... He had in better shape after those autobots!"

/Soundwave to Knockout: what did D011G tell you?/

Knockout stopped his work on Ravage, who growled in mild irritation, and turned to the spy:

"All the creepy details I would prefer to never know!"

It took Soundwave a couple of clicks to remotely log in into Nemesis surveillance systems and find his victim.

The eradicon was in the mess hall, socializing with his kind. Soundwave fine tuned the cctv cam and deciphered the words:

"... ya wanna have another go? After the Creeper left you all glitchy?! Your nets must be seriously damaged"

Scrap.

The guy was literally talking to anyone who would listen.

Unbelievable. Had Soundwave been in his place, he would never admit it had happened to him.

So.. the history was repeating indeed... Soundwave put the buffing tool back.

/Soundwave: stands up for his actions/

Knockout spared him a glance: "I don't know what's more foolish - your actions or you standing up to them. Just do me a favor and don't come any closer."

The doctor turned to Ravage then: "You're fine, lad, and you're cleared for duty"

/Told you/ - Ravage said when they were out of the med bay.

* * *

"Soundwave" - Airachnid's deep contralto stopped his movement. He turned.

She was standing there, stunning as ever. Seeing him react she smiled her little evil smile and strolled to him. "I just wanted to assure you, Soundwave, that I have decided not to pay you back for your outrageous interference earlier..." She stepped so close to him that he could hear her spark rate. Soundwave didn't move.

Malicious Airachnid was an enemy to be concerned about, but this charming Airachnid, with deep sultry tones to her voice, triggered the danger alarm in him.

He froze, waiting for her next move.

Airachnid stratched her arm toward him in a very careful non-treathening way and slid the tips of her talons up his upper wing: "There is no need to punish you any further, is there?... You have already done it yourself... with and Eradicon...no less...

Soundwave wanted to snap her neck then. But instead he just walked away, followed by her melodical laughter


	3. ...and so the history was made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"How did you get access to the surveillance net?" Megatron asked the air commander, watching the navy mech dump the limp 'bot messenger down when he was done, flip him over and cut his sparkchamber open. His SIC's wing pierced through the 'bot spark, There was a flare as the spark flashed and died, energon splashing, and then the screen went dark._
> 
> _"I did not, my liege. It's been broadcasted throughout Kaon"._

Two solar cycles. It took two solar cycles for the gossip to make a full circle around the ship. The speed remained the same regardless of the gossip's nature or how many crew members were on board. Two solar cycles.

That must have been the twelfth space Constanta. Soundwave found some consolation in stable things like that even if it meant that everyone was informed of him mistreating a soldier by now.

He buffed the scraps out after Airachnid made fun of him. She was the only one who dared though. Others must find him too creepy to approach. Knockout avoided him now, though Soundwave was sure, if there was a need for medical help, the doctor would respond. Many things could be said about Knockout but he took his duties seriously.

Dreadwing rammed a shoulder into the TICs chest while passing by in the corridor just a few orns back. Soundwave ignored the obvious challenge. Megatron wouldn't be pleased if one of his veterans scrapped another whatever the reason or the outcome. The TIC also knew that while he outranked Dreadwing, the warrior would never issue a formal challenge without Megatron's approval, so.. unpleasant as it was, it wasn't really worth concern.

Soundwave had never been close to the troops and now this gap seemed to double. The troopers were obviously confused and nervous in his presence and tried to avoid his attention if possible. Funny. Everyone knew he was the eyes and ears of the Decepticons yet they believed they could gossip behind his back without him knowing it.

All this was predictable and anticipated. Megatron's reaction was the unknown. Because there was none yet. Though surely the warlord knew?

For all the eons Soundwave spent in his shadow never wavering, always loyal and supporting, never giving the slightest reason to doubt him... could Megatron overlook this one little slip? Soundwave had known the answer to this question. And it was negative.

Strangely, the spy found himself engulfed by dark excitement waiting for the inevitable clash.

/Somehow... me thinks, you don't want him to overlook it/ - Ravage observed mildly, watching his host pace their chamber corner to corner.

Laserbeak kept silent after her and cat's private discussion and Soundwave was beginning to wonder if he should be curious about it. The drone wasn't hostile though - her presence in their shared link was warm and content as usual.

Soundwave transmitted a neutral package, neither encouraging nor discouraging the cat.

/What's the worst that can happen?/ - Ravage asked then.

Soundwave stopped pacing.

/Odds that he scraps me - less than 2 percent. Odds that he casts me out - 4.83 percent. Odds that he assigns me a suicidal mission - 4.97 percent, odds that he sends me away from Nemesis - 4.98 percent. Odds that I will be otherwise publicly punished - 5.02 percent/

/In other words, nothing solid/ - Ravage summarized.

/Predicting Megatron: always hard/ - Soundwave agreed, returning to his pacing. Hard to predict - that was Megatrons greatest feature in his opinion.

/What are the odds he knows your motives?/ - Ravage was just in a questioning mood, wasn't he?

/Soundwave: has no desire to calculate this probability/.

Ravage put his head on his paws /Why do you have to make it so complicated?/

His host chose not to answer.

As Soundwave's shift was approaching and Laserbeak attached herself to his chest, Ravage stepped in his path, blocking the door.

/Request: take me with you/

/Denied. Your presence at the bridge will not be taken kindly under current circumstances/

Ravage kept position. /Let me watch your back/ - the cat insisted, - /protecting you - my duty/. Soundwave didn't hesitate long. After such a long stasis that the feline experienced relinquishing the freedom of movement was more than a friendly gesture indeed. The spy turned his back to the technimal and shifted his armor aside to let Ravage transform into his place. The feline plastered against his spine, protecting his back as a second layer of armor.

/Keep radio silence/ - Soundwave transmitted somewhat unnecessarily, thus revealing his nervousness. Ravage plugged into their direct connection and curtly transmitted his agreement.

The first part of Soundwave's shift was uneventful. Of course, there was the database to crack and autobots to search for, as well as several dozens other tasks that needed his supervision, but that was just business as usual. Laserbeak had flown off to scan the vicinities of Jasper, Nevada, as scheduled. Soundwave was a little reluctant to let her go, but he didn't want to attract any extra attention by changing the routines.

But of course, it was due to happen sooner or later.

"Walk with me"

Soundwave left his console and followed Megatron, feeling all the optics within the hearing range lock on his back. He couldn't help but feel vulnerable.

Megatron didn't speak until they were on the upper deck and his comrade didn't need him to - the spy had read all the tiny signs and knew his leader was furious.

Strangely, this observation both saddened and pleased him. Still silent, the Decepticon leader transformed and flew away. The order to follow was still in place so Soundwave followed the lead and caught up with his superior, calculating probabilities on the fly.

Megatron had a habit of inviting those he sentenced for "a walk"... usually to return alone. However Soundwave had hard time believing this was his old comrade's intention. Logically speaking, Megatron couldn't afford himself to scrap his CO.

Still, the spy couldn't completely rule out a nearly 5 percent chance that Megatron was being illogical on this one.

They didn't fly far. A secluded meadow in a mountain forest was a perfect place for a fight - close enough to current Nemesis location to request aid or medical help if needed, but far enough to make spying on them difficult.

Soundwave transformed and landed, following Megatron's lead, feeling anticipating shudder run through his circuits. Megatron regarded him with narrowed optics

"After all those eons of impeccable service THIS is where you fail me?!" - Megatron's deep voice resonated with disappointment and it was worse than rage, it cut through Soundwave's audials like a blade. He didn't want to upset his one true master, and his helm lowered momentarily acknowledging his quilt, but maybe upsetting Megatron was exactly what he had wanted and his head urged up again to meet Megatron's stare.

/You really need to make up your mind, boss/ - Ravage transmitted sympathetically, earning no other reaction but a small electric slap from his host. "shut up" - the message was clear.

"You have broken my rules" - Megatron stated heavily and Soundwave nodded again.

"Explain yourself! - Megatron all but hissed. "So I would deem a suitable punishment for your disobedience"

Reveal everything? Open his very spark? Now? Here? Probability calculations took all Soundwave's capacity for a split nanoclick. Never had he been forced to think so fast. Then Soundwave stopped all the background activity, having met a decision regardless the possible consequences.

He shifted his weight a little, assuming a perfect passive defense stance before his rich polyphonic voice filled the autumn air for the first time on this planet: "Soundwave: not yours to punish".

Megatron seemed surprised: "Is that so? Are you denying my authority?!"

Soundwave shifted a little switching his jin to active. "Megatron: never proved superior."

With a click Megatron's blade was brought at the ready and the two former gladiators started circling each other slowly, Megatron feeling his bewilderment give way to anger and Soundwave eager to get this conversation past him by any means possible, even if it meant forcing a fight and taking a beating. Or worse, hurting his leader.

Yet, both were hesitant to attack. "Are you rebelling against me now?!" - Megatron asked partly to make sure and partly to buy some more time analyze his old comrade's weird behavior. It was true that Megatron never defeated his fellow - not on the Kaon's arena, not later - their only fight was a stalemate. It still was a stalemate now, both possible outcomes of this fight undesirable. Yet, Soundwave had issued a challenge and the warlord couldn't afford to ignore it. By gladiator customs, he never extended his power over the navy mech. Yet the spy heeded him all this time. Why change that now? What had burned his fuse?

Instead of answering, Soundwave launched forward.

It's been too long since they had last engaged in battle, but it felt as if they got transferred back in time. Soundwave didn't carry a blade - his wings were long, sharp and sturdy enough to serve as blades. Megatron recalled that as a first dent appeared on his arm protection. He counter attacked, but Soundwave spun out of reach in that deceptively slow movements that were his signature.

Megatron pressed to close the distance, not letting the navy mech completely out of reach. A blow to the wrist caused him to lower his cannon arm and Soundwave immediately launched a feeler into the opening. Megatron caught the feeler with his other hand but lost the grip on it as another sharp wing crushed into his second wrist joint.

A feeler wrapped around Megatron's foot and Soundwave pulled hard, causing his leader to fall. The catch was ancient. Megatron fell, rolled and grasped the feeler pulling hard, causing Soundwave to spin around, turning his back to the enemy. A mighty blow to the back sent the spy forward and he fell, retracting the feelers at the same time.

/Ravage?/

/M'fine. Holding on/

Soundwave sprang to his feet before his opponent managed to secure the advantage and they circled again. "After I'm done with you here" - Megatron said, - "I'll make Knockout check your systems throughout. Must be a virus working"

Soundwave felt rage. Megatron didn't even have a decency to get properly angry at him! A virus! He knew the name to this virus. "Megatron: big talk" - he said.

This time Megatron was first to rush forward. Soundwave meticulously blocked every punch flying in his direction, keeping his feelers in, waiting for an opening. The opportunity presented itself as Megatron jumped to kick him. Sounwave blocked the kick with his wing - although the inertia of the blow caused him to fall aside, but he managed to leave a leaking gash on the steely leg.

Pain caused Megatron to stop fooling around. He fired his blaster cannon. Soundwave swung aside and barely managed to escape it. He returned the blow with a sonic blast that caused Megatron to stutter and clasp his bucket helm.

A raged roar filled the air.

Never stopping to transmit the audial pain, Soundwave approached his opponent... a little too carelessly it would seem. Megatron jumped him and knocked him off his feet, breaking the transmission. They rolled.

Soundwave kicked free off the grasp and both came to their feet again. Much as the spy hoped the fight would take Megatron's mind off his motives, and prevent him from adding two and two, this seemed not to work. Soundwave had told Ravage he had no desire to calculate the chance that Megatron would figure him out. That was not true. He had made the calculations. The chances were solid. It was only a matter of time.

"Are you abandoning the Decepticon Cause?!" - by the Allspark! Why couldn't he stop talking and just fight already?! Soundwave found himself answering despite his better judgement: "Never!"

"THEN WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING ..."

Soundwave didn't let him finish, barreling into Megatron's frame - they fell again, but this time Megatron managed to roll on top and before Sounwave could get free, the warlord's steel claws pierced the spy's protoform right under the chest armor.

/Boss, we've got a leak. Need time to stabilize/ - Ravage reported immediately.

Before Megatron could deliver another blow, Soundwave's feelers connected to his armor and Soundwave shocked him with as big a power surge as he could gather.

Instantly offline, Megatron fell to the side and Soundwave rolled from under him.

When Megatron onlined, he found himself lying on the ground and looking at Sounwave getting up. The spy spotted a generous leak of energon on his side, and was obviously busy assessing the damage, not so game to fight anymore.

Seemed him coming back online went unnoticed and Megatron used this pause to fully connect the dots between recent events and the earlier outrage of this kind back on Cybertron when Soundwave raped and killed an autobot messenger (Megatron didn't care about the autobots and wouldn't spare it a second thought, hadn't the footage of this... event.. been transmitted into broadcast. It had cost them some allies and a lot of distress among the troops. Megatron even had to remove the spy from the SIC position to calm the things down.) Even now recalling the incident made him angry. He had thought that prohibiting 'facing across the ranks and keeping Soundwave away from the autobots (his new role as the CO allowed this) solved the problem. Apparently, autobots weren't the trigger.

Autobots.. eradicons.. strange choices indeed. Almost random.

This time Megatron first thought it had been about Airachnid. The tension between these two cons was palpable. And then Soundwave got an evidence on how close the said Airachnid got to him. Could it anger him enough to cause this? The two events were too close in time not to be linked. However, last time, there had been no Airachnid in the picture. Maybe someone else? He should find a common denominator.

Megatron shut his eyes, thinking. Despite their fight, he trusted Soundwave not to attempt to harm him any further. He had noticed that the officer was staying his punches. He knew Soundwave had noticed that he stayed his too.

So...

He recalled the details of the previous occasion. This information wasn't vital for winning the war, and normally Megatron erased this kind of info to keep his memory capacity sufficient for decisions making. But Soundwave was one of the key figures in his chess party and the incident puzzled him, so he kept full data of that cycle for further assessment which never had happened before now.

_It was back in Kaon, the city tattered by the war but still beautiful. Part of Megatron still marveled at the thought that he got to rule it now. Soundwave was to return from a recon mission in Crystal city - their next secret target. It was Megatron's believe that the autobots were establishing a cloning facility on the base of local bio research labs. There was no intel indicating anything like it, but Shockwave pointed out it was a logical thing to do and the autobots had enough resources there, so it was worth checking out. The perspective of wrecker forces multiplied was too dangerous to ignore._

_Megatron received a short comm from his SIC /returning/. The autobots surely intercepted their frequencies, and encryption was only a matter of time and resource to decode so it was wise not to pass around any sensitive info. Soundwave would report personally. Crystal city was several orns flight away, and all his other tasks for this cycle were completed, so the leader let himself enjoy a refill of energon and thought over his tomorrow's anti-autobot speech that should rally his troops and bring more followers to the Cause._

_A soft tap on his door followed by a bright red head looking in: "Are you busy, mylord?" Flamewar. Megatron gestured her enter and asked "What is it?"_

_She bounced around the room "Nothing. I was just bored and thought I might keep you company..." - she put her full daily cube of energon beside his half-empty one and pierced him with her burning gaze "... my One True Master" - her tone dropped an octave lower and the smile wiped away any doubts in the meaning of her words._

_When Shockwave first suggested Megatron assumed a title and installed formal hierarchy within Decepticons, the former gladiator felt repulsive of the idea. But now it felt so natural... exciting even, when an attractive femme spoke it like that._

_Megatron liked Flamewar. She was passionate in 'facing and never tried to use their off-schedule activities to her advantage or attach any strings to him. It was a pity she had perished._

_...anyway, when Flamewar left, it wasn't long before his private comm had activated. But it wasn't the message he'd been expecting. "My Lord," - Starscream screeched, "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I believe you have to see it" and before Megatron had a chance to respond, Starscreams head on the display changed to the surveillance feed from one of the communication's center rooms. Megatron watched in shock his SIC force himself on the autobot messenger who was awaiting a reply to Prime's yet another ultimatum. The footage had no sound, but it was obvious the bot was screaming his vocalizer out as parts of his armor were ripped from the protoform and feelers dug into his frame._

_"How did you get access to the surveillance net?" Megatron asked the air commander, watching the navy mech dump the limp 'bot messenger down when he was done, flip him over and cut his sparkchamber open. His SIC's wing pierced through the 'bot spark, There was a flare as the spark flashed and died, energon splashing, and then the screen went dark._

_"I did not, my liege. It's been broadcasted throughout Kaon"._

_Soundwave didn't try to run or deny the deed. He accepted his arrest and any punishment Megatron would give him. No explanation of his actions was offered. The report he brought from Chrystal City deemed a pre-emptive strike necessary and in the hurry of it, Megatron let Shockwave deal with political consequences of the outrage - it would be hard to convince the neutrals that autobots were the evil ones after the footage had made the news._

_"Starscream! Lead our forces to Crystal City and burn it to the ground. Make sure all autobots facilities are destroyed. I will welcome you back with your victory as my Second-in-Command_

_Soundwave! You will deliver the message to the autobots instead of the bot you scrapped. Keep them distracted long enough for Starsream to launch his strike."_

_It was a suicide mission, but Megatron had no doubt the navy mech would make it out of Iacon alive._

_And so the history was made._

Now that he thought of it, was it possible that Soundwave had returned earlier and tried to deliver his report, only to find them... occupied? Could they have been too busy to notice him?

Suddenly, it all got crystal clear.

Megatron sat up. "You once told me you would follow me to the Pits of Hell and back if needed"

Soundwave turned to face him, startled. His leader had caught up on things. Finally. Energon was seeping slowly from the clawed wound in his side, but his swirling emotions were holding him upright... for now: "Soundwave : stands by his words" he said and offered the warlord a hand. Megatron clasped the offered hand and got up.

"Then..What was this riot of yours about?"

Soundwave was probably smiling under his mask. Sometimes you would just get a feeling he was. "The distinction between a follower and a servant" - he stated.

Megatron regarded him, head tilted slightly aside. "Why haven't you told me?" - he demanded.

Soundwave turned his helm away. It took him several nanoclicks to find enough courage to answer "Chances that Megatron accepts my code - non-existent. Soundwave's motivation: insignificant to the Cause".

Megatron raised a brow ridge. So that was what drove him all this time? Soundwave was mad if he thought Megatron would ever submit to anyone. Then again, he didn't think it. Yet the spy was apparently waiting for an answer, his pose revealing a suppressed hope.

"I have never questioned your motives before..." - the leader said carefully and Soundwave tensed at the words - "And I never will as long as you keep it under control"

Soundwave nodded slowly. Now that the virtual cat was out, he felt better. At least he wasn't yelled at or cast out. He could live with it. "Soundwave: sorry to cause trouble"

"Bridge us back. You are leaking" Megatron said indicating this matter was closed.

Soundwave pointed at the droplets of energon that ran down Megatron's leg. The warlord looked down, only now registering the wound.

"Still a draw then" - he said with a hint of amusement. "Always" - Soundwave responded, as the bridge Vortex opened in front of them.


	4. Appearances and reputations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eradicons were all similar, but Soundwave had set him aside, made him special. DOUG wished there was something he could say or do to avert Lord Megatron's wrath from the spy, but the truth was no one had asked him a single question.

As they stepped through the bridge Vortex, Megatron leading the way, all heads were turned to them. Megatron was accustomed to this constant attention, but it made Soundwave feel more vulnerable than his injury.

He limped in behind his superior, clutching the clawed wound at his side. It looked nasty and was also seeping energon, but it should have looked worse. Megatron's victory over him had to be apparent. No one had to know that he managed to offline their warlord in a fight. Appearances had to be maintained, reputations - supported. That was why Soundwave ordered Ravage not to hasten the healing process beyond the point of stabilizing the wound.

Ignoring the glances, Megatron contacted the med bay and sent Soundwave off to get fixed. TIC bridged there, not wanting to waste time on walking and leave energon traces all along the ship's corridors.

Of all the optics that watched him leave (Megatron lost interest in him as soon as they stepped through the bridge Vortex) only one pair widened in sympathy at his state.

Eradicon DOUG who stood watch at the bridge doors this shift watched his torturer pay energon price for mistreating him and accept it with the same stoic silence he usually showed. DOUG suppressed a shiver. Soundwave could scrap him and no one would be the wiser. Instead, the Surveillance Chief sent him to the medic (probably to get him fixed more than to complete the prior task). He had called him by his given name. He had shared his energon with him as an equal. Not to mention the 'facing itself that was both the most horryfying and most amazing experience D011G had had so far.

Eradicons were all similar, but Soundwave had set him aside, made him special. DOUG wished there was something he could say or do to avert Lord Megatron's wrath from the spy, but the truth was no one had asked him a single question.

Meanwhile at the med bay Breakdown helped Soundwave up the table and, before Knockout approached them, pinned the spy's chest to the table and hissed "You so much as look at him funny, I will beat you so hard, he'd have to wield you back together, creep"

Normally Soundwave would deal with this insubordination the hard way, but he wasn't feeling that well. Besides, his status was yet to be confirmed. Still, he couldn't let it slip entirely

/Soundwave to Breakdown: the good doctor - not my type. You, on the other wing.../

Breakdown recoiled from him as if he was plagued. Static analog of Soundwave's laughter filled the air.

"Enough of this folly" - Knockout said, scanning his vitals. He unclasped Soundwave's hand from his side and took a closer look at the four big puncture wounds that were unmistakably made by sharp talons of someone with rather big hands: "Care to share what happened?"

/Negative/

Knockout shrugged and set to patch the delicate tubes and cabling. As the doctor worked, Soundwave busied himself with yet more probability calculations. Everything remained vague.

A wave of panic reached him through the emergency link with Laserbeak, as the drone intercepted some 'con's transmissions speculating about his alleged duel with Megatron. Soundwave reached out to calm her down. He was fine. In fact, physical condition aside, he felt more at ease than ever since their last loss.

"Much good has your standing up to your deeds brought you" - Knockout commented under breath "Our Lordship doesn't go easy on his lieutenants' mistakes. I would suppose watching Starscream get beaten up all the time should have taught you something"

Soundwave didn't know how to respond to that. Perhaps Knockout's words had been rhetorical - the good doctor was known for a habit to talk while he worked. However it were the only sympathetic words he heard in a long time from anyone other than Megatron teling him he did a good job. Soundwave's fingers touched Knockout's forehand and he commed, ignoring Breakdown's warning growl

/Soundwave to Knockout. Your concern: appreciated/

* * *

Time had passed and things returned back to normal. Well, as much as they could. Soundwave continued his devoted service. Airachnid continued to annoy him endlessly. He knew she had once tried to bring up the subject of his misbehavior before Megatron, but the warlord had said that "'Con justice was done" and that had been it.

It still pained Soundwave that they were seeing each other occasionally. He learned to deal with it and kept an eye out on Airachnid on his master's behalf.

Turns out, it was a right thing to do. The treacherous bitch tried to abandon Megatron against his strict orders to wait! Not even Starscream allowed himself such an open treason!

Soundwave had hard time staying his blows this time. Treason or no treason, she was not his to scrap. He dispatched Laserbeak, trusting his Cassette's modest firepower more than he had his own self-control.

The spiderbot fell to his feet and he pushed her head down with his foot. "I.. yield"

Soundwave immediately lost interest in her. Someone else would take her to prison for Megatron to sentence. Or not. It was insignificant. What mattered was finding Megatron.

He was hardly aware of the freaked out silence that followed his seemingly effortless victory. "Watch out for the quiete ones" - Knockout told his partner.

* * *

It was not before Orion/Optimus had left Nemesis that Soundwave reported on Airachnid. Megatron had been too busy justifying his reluctance to kill his old friend before then. And Soundwave was too busy monitoring the autobot and masking 'con data for him.

Soundwave backed up his report with visual and audio record of spiderbot's treason - he would hate it if Megatron had any doubts in his words. Laserbeak added her report too. If Megatron had found it excessive he hadn't shown it. Neither did he show any other reaction.

Off duty for the first time in eight solar cycles, Soundwave craved recharge and was too worn down to think it over. The ordeal with Unicron and then Orion has taken a toll on all officers, most of all on Megatron himself. On the bright side the previous commotion seemed to be forgotten now.

Soundwave let his symbionts detach before getting comfortable in the berth. He earned some quiet solo time. Ravage waited till both his host and Laserbeak went offline and then sneaked out.

Eight vorns confinement in his creator's chassis made him crave for action.

Eradicons, whose memory banks were limited, have probably erased whatever info they had about him, so now there had been noticeable confusion as the technimal walked the corridors. When they stared at him too intently, Ravage bared his fangs. He didn't have to growl his way through them though as no one tried to stop him.

The feline found one ship console located low enough for him to use it and logged in using Soundwave's codes. It took him several clicks to find an energy signature he was looking for. All the way through the ship and to the lower deck.

He turned around the corner and nearly bumped into one mech he didn't expect to meet.

"So" - Megatron said, looking the feline over, - "The rumors **are** true and you really **are** with us again"

Ravage bowed his head, then moved forward to rub his head and neck against the warlord's knee in the feline greeting gesture. Megatron reached down to pet the cat. Out of all Soundwave's cassettes the warlord liked this one most. He valued Laserbeak for her invaluable recon abilities, but the surveillance drone was just too impersonal to actually like. Unlike the kitten.

Ravage moved under his palm, enjoying Megatron's EM field invasion into his own. Being Soundwave's oldest symbiont, Ravage couldn't stay unaffected by his host's ultimate longing for the gladiator. Not to the point of obsessing over him, but to the point where merging fields with him became enjoyable.

Following his instinct of mischief, Ravage carefully opened his link to Soundwave's hybernating mind, transmitting him the full feed. He purred, encouraging Megatron to pet him some more.

He figured, after suffering this long, his creator deserved at least one good dream.


	5. I dream a dream...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> /Soundwave to Knockout: applying force can be deemed neccessary for theurapeutic purposes. You have to drink. Or I will have to force you/

_Soundwave was having a dream. He was working on his console at the bridge with all the usual crew around. Megatron was staring at the main display as he used to when he was thinking hard. Business as usual. The navy mech concentrated on the task he was working on, - its essense kept eluding him, - and didn't pay much attention to what was going on behind his back until he felt his lord's presence behind. Megatron moved closer than usual, their EM fields interfering and Soundwave stole a small pleasure from it. Megatron was emanating force and confidence and the TIC let himself be engulfed by those feelings, reaching out to further entangle and interlace their fields._

_He didn't expect the gladiator to notice, as fields were too subtle for most cybertronians to register, however this was a dream and in dreams you can have the impossible._

_Megatron moved closer still and lay his palm on Soundwave's back, his field sparking with... the spy didn't dare to call it desire even inside his own dream. He let his own admiration pour out and stopped pretending he was still working. With a soft rattle sharp talons scrapped down his spine - a gesture nearly tender for their owner. Soundwave frose, feeling his body sensors being triggered one by one. Megatron's hand slid back up and gently pulled him by the shoulder, making the Surveillance Chief turn to face his leader._

_Slowly, careful not to scare off this wonderful dream, Soundwave half-turned to meet Megatron's intent stare. "Everyone out!" - Megatron ordered without sparing anyone a glance. All his attention was focused on the navy mech and Soundwave heard a faint click of his coolig fans switching to overdrive as his middleware protocols activated and the chasis began to warm. He barely registered vehicons and other officers leaving the bridge, he didn't know what they were thinking about it and for once he didn't care in the least._

_Megatron's hand repeated it's movement down his back and Soundwave offlined his optics behind his visor enjoying the caress. "Mmegatron?" he murmured, visual still offline, and felt himself being pulled to the bigger mech. The steel hands circled his frame. Soundwave bathed in warlords EM field - filled with violet sparkles of desire, it bloomed and flourished with the full spectrum of emotions and he had been the center of it._

_Suddenly all this spectral glory dimmed and disappeared from his perception. Soundwave felt himself being lifted off the ground and onlined his optics back in wave of panic. The dream was spinning out of his control, the mech holding him up was Megatron no more. In stunned horror he watched the faceplates he loved shift and twist into one face that personified all the terror of his existence. He rushed to get out, to run, to break free, but he was strangely defenseless in front of this one. Lust and malice shone in bright yellow optics and the mouth twisted in a snarl._

_"Uncover your ports, mech. If I have to do it for you, there will be... PAIN"_

_Soundwave desperately fought to shake the nightmare off. A servo reached out toward his covers and he screamed..._

He screamed and trashed arund the berth.

Laserbeak pinged him with worry. Soundwave sat up, wings shaking and looked around his room. Just a dream. It was just a dream. Luckily, he shut down the links to his symbiontes before hybernating. He wouldn't want them to share his anguish.

Soundwave checked time. Now that the residual trembling subsided slowly, he realised he was still weary. One orn down time was not enough by far. But how could he offline now? He paced the room. Laserbeak watched him for a few clicks then settled down for more downtime herself. The surveillance drone was as tired as her host. Soundwave looked at her and realised what, or rather who was missing.

/Ravage. Report your position/

/On a walk through Nemesis. Why aren't you offline, boss?/

/Nightmare/ - Soundwave caught a glimpse of feline' remorse before the technimal shielded his emotions. Interesting. Normally he could let it slip, but unfortunate for Ravage he was now in dire need of distraction from his own thoughts. /Return/

/Oww.. boss...request: grant permission to recon the ship.. please?/

/Denied. Return. And prepare your logs for sync/ - and with that Soundwave disconnected.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Ravage turned on the spot and rushed back. He, of all cons should have known his host wasn't that simple. There was no telling how his cyberpsyche would react to this kind of stimuli. Think first, act later. When did it become old-fashioned? When Soundwave learns about his little prank - and there was no "if" here, Soundwave would learn, - he would probably lock him in for a vorn or two. Force him to stasis maybe?

Ravage couldn't disobey a direct order. This was an established fact and he didn't want to risk upsetting his host even more by trying it now. He kicked into run. Plain and simple should do the trick - after all, his intentions hadn't been faulty.

* * *

Upon completing the sync with Ravage, Soundwave sat for a while, regarding his oldest creation. Feeling his acute attention, Ranage shifted uncomfortably.

/I find your behavior uncharacteristic/ - the transmission was stern but he had expected worse. /I would rather expect something like that from Frenzy, not../ Soundwave trailed off at the sight of Ravage lowering his head, audials flat against his skull. The spy suddenly knew what caused this uncharacteristic behavior. It took him a long time to get over the loss of his twin symbionts - as much as he was capable of getting over it anyway, but to Ravage this time hadn't passed. The technimal had been in stasis for a long time, for him that battle was still fresh.

/It is too quiet/ - Ravage transmitted, confirming Soundwave's conclusions.

The TIC felt his anger dissipate then. What was a nightmare worth? He's had them before. He patted the berth beside him and commed /come/.

Ravage didn't need a second invitation. He hopped on the berth and got comfortable beside his creator, laying his head on navy leg. Soundwave covered him with his wing. /I miss them too/

/You're not angry?/ - Ravage knew he was not, but he needed to make sure.

/Negative. However, my position on Nemesis - still needs to be confirmed. Further trouble - undesirable/

/Understood/ - and Ravage let himself be comforted by his host's caring field.

* * *

On duty again, Soundwave felt it was time to clear his status. Not once did he feel Megatron's studying gaze on himself, but that was understandable, considering previous revelations and everything that transpired since. Soundwave waited for a suitable moment, and, as other officers cleared the bridge, came to stand in the warlord's peripheral vision zone.

"Yes, what is it?"

/Soundwave to Megatron: am I still your Communication's Officer?/

Megatron gave out a small chuckle "Considering everything that happened? Yes, you are. And I still need that report on new energon deposits"

Soundwave bowed lightly and returned to his duty with a light Spark.

Airachnid appeared shortly, offering her help in tracing new energon clues. Soundwave couldn't contain a rueful smile - did the bitch really think Megatron was unaware of her crime?

After she left, the warlord turned to him. "Remind me of her trustworthiness."

Replaying her own treachery was nearly as satisfying as snuffing her spark would have been. Probably even more. Soundwave hoped he would have a chance to witness her demise by Megatron's own hand, but a disappointment was waiting for him here - Megatron preferred someone else to do the task for him. Did she mean so much? He felt a stab of pain at the thought and Laserbeak sent him a reassuring wave.

It was insignificant as long as she went down.

These solar cycles Ravage was finally able to recon the ship and was even assigned a minor watch duty at one of the mines. After his encounter with Megatron, the cat was officially accepted on board and received a duty. He looked forward finding D011G, but he wasn't at the mine so it had to wait. He got back off his shift just in time for unpleasant news.

Airachnid got away. And unexpectedly, Breakdown had perished by her hands. Soundwave's rage was roaming inside his circuits, seeking a way out. It was best to crush something... someone... but he wasn't sure he still had the trust credit to do that. In his attempt to channel this psychic energy into something less destructive, he made himself focus on Breakdown and how his mate should feel now.

Recent understanding between him and the medic inspired a desire to soften the blow somehow. Or at least show Knockout that he cared. When his shift was over, Soundwave pinged his symbiont, who, he knew, was desperately cleansing himself of earthly dust (seriously, this planet was incredibly dusty!): /Ravage. If you're done wasting my cleaner, there is a secret space/ - and he transmitted a picture of what the stash looked like, - /take two cubes of blue and meet me at the med bay/

/High-grade? How did you manage to?/

Soundwave didn't answer.

It was a trick for a four-legged technimal to master holding energon cubes - but it was a task Ravage mastered by numerous repetitions. His tail closed around the cube and lifted it, placing it into the sub-space in his chest. The trick was not to get greedy and take one at a time.

Carefully, as not to spoil the high-grade by shaking it, Ravage reached the meeting point. Soundwave had already been there. The navy mech commed his approval and opened the slider door.

The med bay was in disarray. Various tools were scattered across the floor, some of them broken. The cause of this destruction was obvious - the one mech in this room was sitting on the floor, clasping his helm with his servos. "GO AWAY!" - he belowed, as the doors to his sanctuary opened.

Looked like the news had already gotten here. Soundwave had no idea if Knockout and Breakdown had been bonded, 'facing or maybe just fiends, and now was clearly not the right time to ask, so he stopped beside the medic.

/Soundwave to Knockout: I'm sorry for you loss/

Knockout stayed silent for a short while then burst with anger "What would you know?! What would you all know?!"

Soundwave gestured Ravage to surrender the high grade and the technimal reluctantly produced one cube and set it down onto the floor.

/Breakdown was a loyal comrade, a fine decepticon and a doughty warrior. His spark is one with the AllSpark now. Don't lessen him by losing it./ - Soundwave included the technimal into his transmittion, sure that it would do the feline good to hear it too.

Knockout stared off into the space, focusing on a dark blue cube before him with considerable effort. "It's tearing me inside out. I felt him go.. he just..." - he whispered.

/I know how it feels/ So they had been bonded...

Knockouts head shot up, dim crimson optics locking on Soundwave's faceless visor "You do?" Soundwave nodded slowly, the medic's gaze shifted to the cybercat watching him with inscrutable muzzle "right... twins.." he murmured.

Soundwave nodded again and sat down on the floor within arm's reach from the grief-stricken mech. Knockout didn't realize it, but the telepath was wrapping him up in his calming field in a hope to dumb the pulsing pain that was throbbing brown in the Aston Martin's field.

Knockout ex-vented "Does it get better?" - he asked in dull voice.

Soundwave didn't want to lie to him: /Negative. But you learn to live with it/.

Knockout glanced around the room only now noticing its sorry state "What do I do now..." - it wasn't really a question and it wasn't really adressed to him but the spy answered nonetheless /You drink. You talk about him. You say your goodbyes/

/Ravage, fetch the tubes/ - the technimal roamed around the room, looking for unbroken tubes, his irritation at this whole "bus-boy" mode seeping into his link with Soundwave. /Three tubes, Ravage/. The ears shot up and the grumbling stopped. The search also sped up.

"I don't think I want to drink" - Knockout said softly.

/Soundwave to Knockout: applying force can be deemed neccessary for theurapeutic purposes. You have to drink. Or I will have to force you/

* * *

It took a while but the combined influence of Soundwave's EM-field and the high-grade mellowed the crimson con a little and he began to talk about his deceased comrade, recalling various situations, both dangerous and funny, that they both had gotten into before. Soundwave offered occasional input of his own, relaying events involving Breakdown that he had witnessed. Ravage recognised some information provided by his host was half-true, the events strained to exaggerate Breakdowns good sides and smoothen over his shortcomings. He pinged the spy questioningly. /Never speak ill of the dead/ - came the reply /...unless you have scrapped them yourself/.

The conversation turned to Soundwave's lost symbiontes. "Is it true that you decimated your spark to spark them?" - Knockout asked. Ravage's ears shot up and he looked at his creator. /This interpretation of their creation: inaccurate. My Spark - whole. Yet it was indeed used to spark them. Interesting rumor, though/

"Does this make you bonded to your cassettes? You sure are overprotective toward them".

Soundwave nodded, acknowledging the bond. His connection with his creations, their link, wasn't exactly the normal bond, but he doubted he could explain the difference without going too deep into things too detailed and too personal to share. "How did it feel for you to lose them?" Soundwave sat silent for a while then sucked in another gulp of high-grade through his feeler tube. The medic was looking at him expectantly. Ravage responded for him. The technimal rose his head and howled. The sound echoed through Nemesis' hollow insides. /Hollow. This experience is kin to failing to locate the source of a sound over and over. You feel like there is something there, there should be something there, but there is not. Like you online after a recharge and stretch your servos only to understand that you have none/

"I don't feel this way" - Knockout said after a pause and Soundwave thought he heard regret in the medic's tone. "...and I felt no urge to protect him.." - he finished softly. Soundwave blinked under his visor.

/Breakdown did/ - commed the spy and activated the replay "You so much as look at him funny, I will beat you so hard, he'd have to wield you back together".

Knockout winced at the sound of his late partner's voice, then a sad smile touched his intake. Yes, Breakdown was protective of him. Sometimes it irritated the scrap out of him, but mostly he had found it nice.

For a while they sat in silence. The second cube was coming to an end. Ravage got bored and stalked off to roam around the med bay. /Be a kitten and bring another one, will you?/.

Ravage liked the effect high-grade had on his creator. Asking nicely for a change, even if he called him kitten. As the technimal left, Knockout broke the silence "Were you?"

/Query unclear/

"... looking at me funny?"

/Negative/

Definitely, it had been the high-grade. What else could explain such boldness: /Soundwave: requests permission to ask a personal question/.

Knockout rose his brows, eyes flashing with curiosity. Curiosity, boosted by the grades. The doctor nodded several times.

/How does it feel to... receive?/

"Sorry?"

/Receiving... what is it like?/

It took Knockout several clicks to catch on the amount of assumptions that Soundwave put into this single question. "How the scrap would I know? I mean, I do possess a certain theoretical knowledge but I'm guessing that's not what you're asking... Why would you think me...?"

/My apologies. My assumptions were incorrect. Have you been bonded?/

"Why is it so hard to believe Breakdown was the one receiving?! It's logical, after all, in case of rogue code I would be there to cleanse it... not mentioning that he is ...had been my assistant, not the other way around."

/My apologies/ - Soundwave repeated and Knockout made a dismissive gesture, like, "it's alright". "If you're so curious about it, why don't you try? I could lend you a ... hand"

/Impossible/

"Too proud to open up?"

/No/

"You probably think you deserve to take the upper hand?"

/No/

"Well it's not like you need to worry about your reputation"

/Insignificant. It's not the motivation, it's the ability that I lack/

"Wait-wait! I remember it clearly.." - Knockout got up and rummaged through the pads cabinet, his movements a little sloppy. He fished out officers records and found Soundwave. "Yup, you're standard type mech, you're equipped for all types of facing"

/Not anymore/ Soundwave was embarassed, but also drunk, and the recent nightmare still bugged his ciruits. He had to talk to someone, and Knockout hadn't been the worst choice. And even if he wasn't the best choice, Soundwave still needed to get it out of him.

Knockout put the pad down and turned to face him. "What happened?"

Yet, Soundwave couldn't force himself to speak it, even dumbed by the high-grade. /I had... an accident. Long time ago/ - that was all he could force out.

"Then get up here and let me take a look. See if I can fix you "

/There's nothing you can do/

"You don't know that!"

/Shockwave already tried to cure me. It's impossible/

"With all due respect for Shockwave, he was no medic. I am. And we have the most advanced medical equippment onboard Nemesis. Would it hurt to try?"

/You are energon-high. Why do you even bother?/ - Soundwave commed making no attempt to stand up much less to get onto the table. Knockout tilted his head, examining his own motives "I just need to focus on something now" - he said fully aware of how pathetic it may sound. "And I never let grades affect my professional...ism"

Soundwave knew that there was no real chance Knockout could accomplish a task Shockwave had failed at, but if he didn't give it a try, the ghost of this hope would never truly leave him. And he didn't need any false hopes. They were viruses.

Without a word the spy got up and climbed up the said table, opening the covers. Knockout's optics widened as he took a look at the injury. The port wasn't injured - it was nearly absent, the living metal of the protoform scarred, twisted, discolored. The doctor sobered quickly, his gaze tracing the damaged cabling and biotech parts. He saw the traces of repairs that the spy mentioned and had to admit, Shockwave did an impressive job, a little blunt, but effective. He also saw that this kind of wounds could not happen accidentally - the scars suggested, there had been repeating assaults. Seeing Knockout's faceplates shift in terror and resentment, Soundwave suddenly felt completely calm. He was tranquil. As if showing off his injury purged the terror off his processors.

"By the AllSpark! Who did this to you?.." - Knockout ex-vented in awe.

/Insignificant. They are dead./

Unnoticed by the two, Ravage stood at the door.


	6. Ripples spreading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _/Soundwave: needs to erase some of your data. Resistance: undesirable. Cooperation would minimize the possible damage./_

Ravage froze on the spot and then made the only thing he could think of - he ran.

The cat might have been drunk but he was not dumb. He carefully blocked the link to his creator and slowly backed out of the room. As soon as the door closed, he turned and sprinted off the spot. He didn't really care where he was running to, he just needed to put more distance between himself and the medbay. He hoped that Soundwave was too drunk to pay attention at when exactly he got disconnected - or maybe he might think he was off all this time? Hopefully so. Laserbeak was lucky she was on recon duty and didn't have to witness this.

Ravage ran. He didn't care for the last cube of high-grade undoubtedly getting spoiled by all this shaking as he galloped through the corridors. Occasional vehicons moved aside to let him pass. He had that air of urgency around him that suggested they better not obtruded his way.

His creator was the only one that mattered. He was built to protect Soundwave, to serve him. Knowing what his host went through made Ravage feel like he had failed, like he was useless. With each kick of his paws the feline tried to push this feeling away. The notion that it had probably happened long before he was sparked, or maybe this had been exactly the thing that inspired his creation in the first place, didn't help at all. If anything, it made him angrier.

Why would Soundwave hide it from him, but open before a stranger?! It hurt. Though he probably knew why he did that. Soundwave wouldn't want him to know. The telepath was highly protective of his creations. He wouldn't want to hurt them even if it meant he had to block off part of his databank and bear this weight alone.

Ravage growled. His vents kicked into overdrive, cleansing the grades off his circuits. Too nervous to enjoy the buzz now. He had to sober up and calm down before coming back there! He had to at least try to hide it from Soundwave that he witnessed his confession.

The technimal stopped at a three-way joint and made himself turn around and pace back to where his creator was waiting. As he walked back, he tried to cope.

"Hey, buddy!" - Ravage got so into his own emotions that he missed the moment when someone else joined him on a walk. The cat looked up to see an eradicon. Was it THE eradicon? There was really no telling them apart for Ravage unless he saw their energy signatures. But the encounter was untimely anyway.

"It's me, Doug" - The eradicon said in a soft voice interpreting Ravage's lack of response correctly. The cat narrowed his eyes at the vehicon and growled. /You! It's all your fault!/ - the eradicon shouldn't be able to receive his frequency, but Ravage didn't care. He just needed to express himself. Oh, it would be so wonderful to scrap him right there and then! It wouldn't set things right, but it would definitely feel good. Ravage enjoyed the thought for a split click before casting it aside. He wouldn't dare to. Not after Soundwave specifically asked him not to cause trouble. A murder on board during an active military operation - was trouble by the very definition of it. No, he wouldn't dare. This didn't stopped him from wishing though.

The vehicon staggered back as if Ravage hit him "There was nothing I could do!" - he argued.

That made the technimal blink. /D011G, do you copy?/

"Yes" - came the answer.

The technimal eyed him suspiciously. /How is it you get my transmission?/

"The swap code. I adopted part of it and hid it from the doc. Didn't think it would work but.. he missed it" The vehicon seemed pleased with himself.

Ravage snatched the chance to take his mind off Soundwave for a moment. /Why would you do that?/

The eradicon seemed a little embarrassed at the question and for a click or two they just walked. "Is he alright?" - Doug finally asked.

That brought Ravage back to the starting point. /He would be far better off if he heeded my advice regarding you/

"...and called for me?"

/And scrapped you right then/

The eradicon stopped in his tracks and watched the cat's back as Ravage walked on, before rushing to catch up to him. "Look, I know I messed up.I would do anything to prevent him from getting hurt! There was just nothing I could do! Doctor Knockout demanded my explanation! I didn't mean trouble. "

/But you brought it./ - it wasn't really fair, but Ravage didn't care.

The violet shoulders slumped down. "Look, if there's anything I can.."

/Why?!/ - Ravage turned to him, interrupting his phrase, yellow optics locking onto Doug's features with such an intense stare that the eradicon took a step back. /He took you by force! He fried your nets! He reduced you to a pleasure toy! why do you care?!/

The eradicon twitched as if the words stung him, but his voice was steady when he answered "You're a custom build, you have no idea what it is to be part of mass production batch. He set me aside. Recognized me. Shared his energon with me. Chose not to scrap me even if it brought Lord Megatron's wrath upon him. He called me by my name..."

Why was everyone so messed up on this ship? Ravage failed to grasp it. Ok, his host was always kind of weird and that made sense now. Megatron... no one knew what went on in that bucket helm. Airachnid was a crazy bitch, she always had been. Knockout was grief-striken, that Ravage could understand and even relate to. But the rest of the crew? Dreadwing behaved like he had his own machine gun stuck up into his exhaust pipe, miners were scared up to the point where they were nearly glitchy, Starscream had deserted (that was something Ravage couldn't fit into his picture however he tried) and now, it seemed, eradicons were experiencing a trauma because of the fact that they were mass production. It had probably something to do with this extremely dusty scrapheap of a planet.

/You're a fool if you think that/ - he answered and added /Surely you understand that he used you/

"It is insignificant" - hearing his host's signature phrase from his victim made Ravage wonder how much of the swap Doug had salvaged. Adopted swap could explain this unexpected display of loyalty. An idea flashed through the cat's mind. He needed to think it over and right now he needed to bring that blasted energon back to the med bay.

They were halfway there. /If you really want to help Soundwave, meet me at the transporter docks in seven orns. And by the Allspark! HOLD YOUR GLOSSA!/

With that, Ravage sprinted off the spot - he had to catch on the time.

* * *

If Soundwave noticed his long absence, he didn't comment on it. The third cube was consumed in confused silence. Ravage had no idea what they talked about while he was out and preferred to never learn it. His host seemed somewhat catatonic - or maybe just too drunk. Knockout seemed in need of a power down. Ravage sipped his share of dark blue high-grade. He did his best to appear relaxed and wished he didn't have to pretend it.

/Boss, do you think it's time to leave the doctor be? He doesn't look suicidal anymore/

There was a noticeable delay before Soundwave answered a little too randomly /Laserbeak is returning/

/So?/ - When Ravage received no answer to that, his tail hit the floor with irritation. He hated it when Soundwave ignored his queries.

The slider door opened and the drone flew in. /So... I will need her navigation aid to get to my berth/

Wow. Wasn't really ignoring him, it seemed. Laserbeak attached herself to Soundwave and he rose to his peds, swinging a wing aside to keep his balance.

Knockout rose too.

"Well... every party needs to end sometime" - he proclaimed, noticeably relieved now that Soundwave seemed to be leaving. The spy nodded, pinged Ravage to follow him and went for the door. He stumbled upon some medical tools still lying scattered around, but caught himself before he would lose the balance completely.

"Soundwave..." The navy mech turned with some effort. "Thank you" - Knockout said with nothing like his usual cocky demeanor.

Soundwave nodded drowsily and went out. Luckily, they didn't bump into any officers on the way to their chamber.

When Soundwave onlined, Ravage had already been gone to his watch duty at the mines. The TIC still had a couple of orns till his own shift, so he set to cleansing his circuits off the remnants of high-grade and looked through his own logs to fill in the gaps the high-grade haze left in his memory.

He quickly synchronized all the chips, controls and other state of the art peripheral components he had. A nice rinse down with a cleaner - provided Ravage left him any - and he would be as good as new.

/Was it worth it?/ - Laserbeak asked mildly watching him re-calibrate.

/Depends on the criteria of worthiness/ - Soundwave responded, stepping into the wash rack.

/Was it fun?/

/Last cycle hadn't been about fun. It was about reaching out to the community and providing consolation to the comrade in need./

/That much fun, then?/

/Anything to report on the recon?/ - Soundwave switched the topic, and Laserbeak had to follow.

/Nothing unusual. Humans. Autobot base' location is yet to be uncovered./

Soundwave stopped his movements mid-air, as something in Laserbeak's words triggered his memory. The thought was slipping, but he wouldn't have it from his own logs. Carefully scanning the data he found a match. For a click or two Soundwave couldn't believe his own memory. Did he really impart that information?!

Measures needed to be taken immediately. /Stay here./ - he told his cassette, knowing that she could not disobey a direct command.

* * *

Knockout was tidying up when Soundwave reached the med bay. Hangover or not, tools needed to be picked up from the floor and put to their usual places. The door opened and Soundwave walked in, but the doctor barely looked up from rearranging tools on the table.

"Looking for a cure?" - he asked in a way of a greeting.

When no answer came in any form, he looked up. The door behind Soundwave closed and the emergency lock activated. Soundwave looked up. Knockout involuntarily followed the direction of his gaze right in time to see the surveillance cameras switch off and retract into the ceiling, undoubtedly following chief surveillance officer's command. Soundwave took a few steps to the doctor.

"..What is going on?" - the bright red mech asked, stepping back.

/Soundwave: needs to erase some of your data. Resistance: undesirable. Cooperation would minimize the possible damage./

Knockout continued retreating until he put the med table between them "What a nonsence! I won't let you anywhere near my databanks!"

/Soundwave: doesn't require permission. Disclosed information : classified. Terminating information leak: top priority/

The two mechs tried to outposition each other - Soundwave closing in and Knockout evading him and putting obstacle after obstacle in the spy's way. Locked in a room, there was no way he could evade Soundwave for a long time. But maybe he could talk reason into him...

"A leak? I'm not a leak! Whatever it is you're talking about, I can give you my word..."

/Knockout: impulsive, unstable, ambitious, opportunist. Not to be trusted sensitive data/

"What data? I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Soundwave stopped on his way around the table and Knockout stopped on the opposite side of it too. The spy seemed hesitant.

/You do not remember?/ - he finally asked.

"...remember what? We got high, and after everything is kinda hazy..." Now that Knockout thought about it, he remembered being confused and embarrassed. Must be because of whatever secret Soundwave shared with him. Knockout felt excitement. Juicy info it must have been if the TIC was so worked up about it! It must be somewhere among the scrambled bits of his fresh logs. He'd have to sort it out later. Taking his silence for confusion, Soundwave relaxed noticeably, and so did the medic. A feeler that hit him in the chest was unexpected.

/Sorry. Can't risk it/ - and Soundwave shocked him offline.

When Knockout onlined, he was alone in medbay. His tools were scattered again, and a CPP cable lay beside him. That was weird. He clearly remembered putting it away. Last thing he remembered was Soundwave coming in and locking the door.

Panic shot through him and he hastily checked his port covers. They appeared to be untouched and the internal check reported that seals were in place. Whatever Soundwave had wanted, it wasn't interfacing.

"Yeah... this isn't creepy at all"


	7. New SIC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _/Do you think he knows what he's doing to you?/ - Laserbeak inquired_
> 
> _Soundwave's engines started again one by one /Even if he does, he doesn't let this knowledge affect him/ - he commed back._
> 
> _/So what do we do now?/_
> 
> _Soundwave rose and went for the door /we decode the base/ - he answered._

First rush of panic passed, and Soundwave looked at the things rationally. Worst thing the doc could do now would be going straight to Megatron and file a complaint. But in this case - much as Soundwave loathed to lie to his leader -in this case he could stick to his version of sensitive info being disclosed and insist on acting upon both Knockouts and the Cause's best interests. Megatron would still chew them out for getting drunk, of course. But that would be only fair. Chances that Knockout was stupid enough to do this were about twenty percent. Other options that Soundwave could think of were of even less consequences. The spy was still in control. No one knew.

Of course, he still had to sort out all the chipped bits of his own drunken memories and assemble them into a non-controversal timeline but that could wait. Right now the Decepticon Cause took all his time and attention.

On top of decrypting the Iacon base and all the bau tasks Soundwave was in charge of he had to supervise the space bridge relocation to the orbit. Megatron really needed to appoint someone as SIC otherwise Soundwave feared it wasn't long before he would glitch under the workload.

He didn't even have the spare processing capacity to think over the perceived change in Megatron's tone when he addressed him. The warlord had always been treating him with some respect unlike many others, but it never stopped him from snapping, nor did he feel the need to hold back the rash words. Seemed like he felt this need now.

In a weak hope to clear his mind and vent a little Soundwave volunteered to fetch one of the Iacon's relics. The fight with autobots was expected, welcome and won. It cost him a crack in his visor and Laserbeak suffered a minor wound, but the only flying autobot in this sector was no flyer for some time and they've got the relic, so it was a win in Soundwave's view. Other than improve his moods, this would also serve as a reminder of his superiority both to his enemies and to his fellow officers.

The TIC's circuits swelled with pride at the praise from his superior. Knockout, on the other wing, failed at his mission and that decimated the chances he would report to Megatron - not when the favors were so drastically uneven. As the doctor was reminded of his place and rushed to dispose of a grenade that autobots had planted into Laserbeak - / Blasted Autobot Bastards!/ she commed - Megatron leaned in so close that his EM field reached Soundwave's spark, making the TIC throw all his resources to his sensors and self control, stopping all the peripheral activity. It was the first time they were so close since their fight. He drank Megatron's proximity like it was the best high-grade en, savoring every drop. Megatron's field was full of confidence and determination. He didn't dare to read him - he never dared to read him, that would be an offense, but the field... it bloomed with concentration and the slightest tint of worry. Soundwave froze letting the emotions rolling off his leader reverberate in his own circuits, careful not to give away the reactions that this proximity invoked in him.

Megatron seemed unaware. "Soundwave, if we are to maintain our advantage against the autobots, decoding the remaining Iacon database must remain your top priority"

Soundwave blinked under the visor. It took him a split nanoclick to return into business mode. Was it Megatron's way of reproaching him for taking unnecessary risk? Or was the warlord so worried about the race for the relics that he felt the urge to remind Soundwave of his priorities? Or was it a challenge? Was Megatron challenging him to prove that he was superior to the autobots, even though the traitor Prime knew the codes while he had to hack them?

Anyway, there was only one correct response to that. Soundwave nodded: /by your command, Megatron/

He could swear he saw a hint of a smile before the gladiator turned on the spot and walked out.

/Do you think he knows what he's doing to you?/ - Laserbeak inquired

Soundwave's engines started again one by one /Even if he does, he doesn't let this knowledge affect him/ - he commed back.

/So what do we do now?/

Soundwave rose and went for the door /we decode the base/ - he answered.

But before he could quit the medbay, a crimson arm stopped his forward movement. "Not so fast" - Knockout said, his optics flicking around the room. "I demand explanation. What was in that pieces you ripped from my memory?"

Soundwave looked down at the medic. Of all the options he could choose Knockout chose the one that put him into the most vulnerable position. Was it folly or was it a sign that the red vehicon trusted him?

/You've cleared his memory and he's asking you what it contained? I bet on folly/ - Laserbeak said.

/Soundwave to Knockout: relaying this information now would make the memory extraction meaningless./

"Don't give me that! You had no right to poke around my memory banks!"

Soundwave sent a chuckle package into the link with Laserbeak. By the Allspark! This mech was a con, how could he be so naive?!

/Soundwave to Knockout: permission had been requested. Erasing the data - in Knockouts' best interests./ He switched gears and added in more personal way /Trust me, doctor, other options were far worse. Let it go/

Knockout stared at him with a mixture of doubt and suspicion.

/Soundwave to Knockout: you're in my way/ Primus knows how Soundwave managed to put steel into his impersonal messages, but somehow he managed it.

Knockout moved aside automatically and called out to Soundwave's retreating back "This is not over!"

/oh... but it is/ - and Laserbeak sent him a smile.

* * *

Logically, it hadn't been long before Airachnid surfaced again. This time she dared to challenge Megatron personally. Or was she thinking she could use her charms to persuade their master of her use? Hardly.  
He traced her, naturally.

Megatron left to deal with the traitor and Soundwae wasted no time in sending Laserbeak after him. He had to bear witness to the bitch's demise. /Megatron didn't order me this, so stay out of his sight/ - he instructed the drone. Laserbeak pinged back /affirmative/

"This is undoubtedly a trap!" - Dreadwing exclaimed, his worry for his leader overruling his resentment toward Soundwave. Soundwave nodded. Now was clearly the time for them to get over their differences.

"Are you monitoring our Lord's life signal?"

Soundwave nodded again and pointed to one of his consoles. Really, Dreadwing just had to clear his optics. As Dreadwing watched, Megatron's signal approached the coordinates of Airachnid's transmission and disappeared. "What happened?!"

/Soundwave to Dreadwing: underground/

Dreadwing turned to throw a glance at the Communications Officer. It was the first time Soundwave commed to him directly since his return to the Decepticons.

Laserbeak couldn't match Megatron's flight speed, so it took her a few more clicks to get to the site. Soundwave urged her to fly into the mine and then return to the surface to pass up the visual.

As the visual came in, Soundwave caught the pacing warrior by the arm and turned him back to the consoles. "Do not ever..!" - Dreadwing thundered but stopped at the sight of the visual on the consoles. Their master was fighting an insecticon?! On Earth?! How?!

/Soundwave to Dreadwing: Megatron superior/ It was a cold assessment of the fight unfolding. The insecticon was no match for the gladiator - too slow, too slopy.

Laserbeak turned, preparing to dive into the cave once again and her cam caught a ground bridge vortex and Prime with his henchmen stepping through.

'I'm going after him!' - Dreadwing rushed out. Soundwave's comm found him on the way to the upper deck.

/Soundwave to Seekers squads 2 and 4: Assemble on the upper deck immediately. Megatron is under attack. Operation: urgent reinforcement. Dreadwing in command.  
Prepare for bridging in 1 cycle/

Clanking sounds of heavy peds running filled the Nemesis.

Megatron would have to hold his ground till reinforcements arrived. For the moment, it was all Soundwave could do without directly disobeying his lord's orders.

The TIC should have proceeded with the Iacon base decoding, but he had hard time concentrating on the task - he kept switching between checking the battle site for life signals and Laserbeak's feed. Finally Megatron appeared above ground accompanied by Dreadwing. They were returning. Judging by their speed, he was alright or at least able to fly.

Relief washed through the spy's energon circuits. That had been a close call. /Laserbeak, operation recon. Stay out of autobots sight. Objectives: Airachnid, autobots, survivors./ Upon receiving a "roger" from his drone, he switched to the commlink:

/Soundwave to all crew: operation successful. Megatron: returning. Medbay - stand by. Salvage team: prepare for bridging upon further notice. Operation: utilize the scrap./

And with that he finally switched to the Iacon base.

It wasn't long before Dreadwing was appointed SIC position.

/How come he's the hero now?/ - Laserbeak's query made Sounwave pause his typing for a moment. /He's earned it/ - the spy commed back before assaulting the console keyboard again.

* * *

Ravage couldn't believe his luck. Seemed like between all these worries Soundwave forgot or deemed unnecessary to check his logs from the blasted drinking pity party. The cat was partly upset by this fact - he had undertaken unprecedented measures to hide this part of information from his host - it was nearly a pity all this effort hadn't been required.

While Soundwave had been recharging the buzz off, Ravage spent time plotting. When the time came, he slipped out of their chamber a little earlier than his shift would require.

His plan required assistance. Normally he would turn to his host or other cassettes when he needed assistance, but it was just him and Laserbeak now and the surveillance drone would never do anything behind Soundwave's back. Not for Ravage, anyway. That left him with the new boy in town - Doug. He was nearly sure the vehicon would come. Not so sure he would take part at his plan, but Ravage prepared him a surprise that would make him play along. Should make him. If the eradicon refused, the cybercat could always scrap him and throw the remnants down the transporter - and scrap the consequences!

When time came, Ravage lazily throttled along the corridors, the details of his plan still rolling in his head. Unlike his host or any other big mechs worth mentioning, Ravage didn't have a quantum processor and couldn't calculate rpobabilities. Strategy was not his strong side. But the technimal was a good tactician which made him a perfect candidate for complicated, but pre-defined tasks. Usually, the feline would rely on his superiors for weighting reasons and determining targets, while he retained freedom as to when and how to bring his targets down.

This time, however, the objective was slightly more complicated. How could he stop Soundwave from being miserable if Soundwave himself was the one that was making Soundwave miserable in the first place? Soundwave wanted to bury his trauma - that Ravage could understand, but pushing it down wasn't the solution - it was infesting his host from the inside.

Otherwise, surely Soundwave would have already recovered?

If the spy realised that Ravage knew his secret, he would cleanse this info off the cat's databank and that would mean that all hope for completing the ultimate mission of making Soundwave happy (or at least not miserable) would be lost for Ravage.

/Saving the info - top priority/ - Ravage concluded, approaching the docks. He didn't yet know what to do with it, but that would come later. This way or the other. Luckily, dozing up with high-grade wasn't the only way to scramble the logs. And seemed like he knew a safe place for his data - provided he encrypted it against the eradicon's excessive curiosity.

As Ravage entered the transporter docks, there had been a bunch of eradicons awaiting the mine shift change. Again, Ravage wasn't entirely sure if D011G was among them. The cat paced to the neerest console and logged in with Soundwave's codes. He had to raise on his hind legs to look at the energy signatures. Soundwave would find out of course, but Ravage kind of hoped he would, that would only support the cat's alibi. Yup, there was Doug, socializing with his kind./Don't look my way/ - Ravage warned him and paced by the group of vehicons. His ears picked up some interesting gossip regarding why Megatron chose not to scrap the Prime when he had a chance, but Ravage was sure Soundwave's mics and cams caught it too, so he didn't bother memorizing it.

/We need privacy/ - the cat commed, /follow me/ and he pranced toward spare parts and scrap metal storage, sneaking in as soon as he was out of everyone's sight range.  
Doug took his time and the cat was starting to worry when the con finally showed up. Using Soundwave's code to lock the door behind them, Ravage turned to face the violet vehicon.

"So... what is going on?"

Instead of answer, Ravage jumped him, kicking him off his peds. The vehicon fell on his back and before he recovered from his surprise, the feline was on top of him, heavy paws pinning his shoulders to the ground. Long sharp teeth moved into the loose neck cabling stopping a millimeter away from ripping the main energoin circuit. Doug froze. Ravage froze too.

When nothing happened for a whole click, the vehicon tried to move. Ravage pressed his tusks into the delicate tubes and growled a warning.

"I thought we were past the idea of scrapping me?"

/You'd be surprised/


	8. Recalibration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Ravage brought the art of lying with telling truth, only truth and nothing but truth (just not all the truth), to the new heights._

"No! Let me go! I' m not afraid of you, Ravage!" - but somehow it didn't sound convincing enough.

/That is because you don't know me, eradicon. But you will/ the cat transmitted, tightening his jaws a little. /now hold still/

The cat's tail was gliding across Doug's chassis, poking at the seams as it appeared to be searching for openings. Guessing about the goal of this search made Doug start to warm up. He had been right.

The appendage lingered at his port covers, poking at them more intensively

/now.. Unlike Soundwave I cannot hack you circuits and make you comply, so I'm gonna count to four. Open up, or I'll rip you up./

When Doug didn't reply, he started to count "one... two.. "The covers slid aside reluctantly.

'You will have to let go of me to do that" - Doug said, sounding rather dull.

Ravage brought up his tail, so that the eradicon would see it. Metal scales shifted aside revealing interfacing cables. /not necessarily/

The eradicon beneath him tensed and Ravage felt his spark hum and tremble beneath his paw. He had guessed right, then. Soundwave's violation created a strong reflex within the eradicon, making him crave for being forced to interface. That, and not just irrational loyalty to Soundwave, made him approach the technimal several orns back. Whether DOUG was willing to acknowledge it or not, he wanted this to happen. Ravage glided his erect cable down Dougs chassis to the port in a slow and even tantalizing motion, catching the hitch of intake and the smell of transfluid as well as the revving of cooling fans. If the con hadn't been ready for the taking yet, he was quickly approaching that point.

But it wasn't just a ready port that Ravage needed. He needed compliance. He could force the swap into the vehicon against his will, but he could not ensure he wouldn't erase it as soon as he was free. Besides, it just struck Ravage that he was about to repeat the mistreatment his host suffered from. Whether Soundwave would take it lightly if he ever found out was an open question, but Ravage preferred not to take this risk.

/Do you consent?/ he asked, slighty rubbing his cable against the outer rim of the receiving port.

"What? Seriously?! Asking now?!"

Ravage squeezed his jaws a little tighter, reminding the eradicon that despite the question he was the one in control. /I will swap you package and I want you to keep it safe for me. For that I need your collaboration. Do not mistake for a click that I will hesitate to snuff you, Doug/

No answer came except for gaping intakes as the vehicon tried to cool his processor down enough to think. Ravage felt transfluid oozing out onto his cable and silently marveled how one forced interface had been enough to turn this soldier into a danger whore.

/You know I can make it good.../ Ravage transmitted, emphasizing his point by pressing the cable into the port, only to withdraw a split click later.

The eradicon gave up a half-sigh half-moan "Yes! Just do it already!" - he forced out.

That was all the feline needed to hear. He plugged in.

* * *

Dreadwing turned out to be a decent SIC and Soundwave passed over part of his too many responsibilities. Neither of them spoke to one another other than on duty but that hadn't been the same hostile silent treatment it had been before. There was just nothing either one wanted to say and it was fine like that.

With the space bridge relocated, mining and military operations under Dreadwing's control now, Soundwave could concentrate on his primary tasks: decode the base and trace the autobots. Laserbeak was scouting non-stop now, returning to the ship for a quick refill and sync once a cycle, and Soundwave barely left his console, trying to out-intel the enemy. Besides, even if he had spare time, what would he do with it?

Ravage spent a lot of time on watch duty or cleaning after the watch duty. Soundwave barely saw him. Frankly speaking, that was a waste of the cat's abilities, but Soundwave didn't dare to voice his objections to Megatron, careful not to disturb the content peace that seemed to settle between them.

Knockout was avoiding him now, but the spy couldn't blame him. If anything, he blamed himself for snapping and ruining what was to be a perfect friendly gesture.

Megatron had been watching him. That wasn't new. Sure, the warlord kept an eye out for all officers, never fully trusting any of them and mostly Soundwave had been instrumental for this watch. This left Megatron with a choice: trust his surveillance chief or watch him in turn.

Soundwave understood very well how it worked. He always made sure that his reports had been as full as possible, and he himself as predictable, reliable and stable as he could manage, so keeping an eye on him wouldn't take too much of Megatron's time.

Over the eons, the warlord seemed to spend him no more than an occasional glance which was as good for Soundwave.

Now he was studying him. The change was subtle and probably went unnoticed by the rest of the crew - had Starscream been here, he would have noticed, but the volatile Seeker had gone rogue and the rest of officers hadn't been around for long enough to notice this pattern shift.

Megatron also spent 11% more time around Soundwave which was bliss and torture at the same time. Seemed like the warlord shifted back to the kind of camaraderie they shared before Soundwave snapped the first time. Soundwave enjoyed occasional brush of fields as well as a rare joke Megatron would share with him. It was hard to reign in his spark and root out any stray hope that would occur, though.

Luckily, autobots were keeping everyone busy, including the warlord.

The new relic they've lost to the enemy was nothing less but the Star Saber itself. Such a weapon tipped the scales greatly and Soundwave silently approved Megatron's instant decision to withdraw and hold off all operations until they found a way to top that.

This meant that miners were to be picked up too and he would finally have a chance to sync with Ravage on the unfortunate party night.

Soundwave attempted several times to reconstruct the timeline but it just wouldn't fit. More curious than worried, he wanted to see if his symbiont's logs could cast some light upon this strange occurence.

He even went as far as to meet his kitten at the transporter dock, ignoring suprised glances of the troopers. Megatron and Dreadwing were off to Cybertron and Soundwave was in charge. That didn't mean he had to stick to the bridge, though - all the ship's controls were remotely synced to his private comm.

The shiny platform emerged through the dock carrying last crates of energon and the mine watch (miners and equipment were bridged up a little earlier, but Soundwave was reluctant to pass massive energon stack through the bridge Vortex. That would be unneccessary risk.)

Ravage seemed joyful, audials standing proudly up as he listened to something an eradicon told him. Soundwave checked the signatures. Not just an eradicon, then - the eradicon!

As if sensing his tension (as he probably did), Ravage looked up to see his host and suppressed disapproving flecks of green in his EM-field. The mood dropped noticeably. Doug said something but Ravage leapt out of the platform before it rose all the way up and a flick of his tail was all farewell the eradicon got.

The technimal covered the distance to his creator in few powerful leaps. Soundwave turned and walked off before the feline reached him. Ravage caught up with him and trotted beside.

For a while it had been quiet until Ravage couldn't take this silence any longer: /Am I in trouble?/. Soundwave spared him a glance /I will refrain answering this question until we complete the sync/ Ravage summoned all his innocence. /Another sync? Did something happen while I was down there?/.

Soundwave sent a simple "negative" and walked on. Ravage silently bared his fangs and hastened to match his pace. Soundwave hadn't forgotten. Trouble. Ravage had anticipated it and he had been ready. Bring it on, Boss Bot...

* * *

Upon completing the sync Soundwave fetched a fresh cube of en and poured a tube for the feline. Ravage reckoned, it was a good sign. He sipped the en, patiently waiting Soundwave to break the silence first.

/Your reasoning for not informing me: of interest./ - bad sign. Soundwave was using his routine speech patterns which meant he de-prioritized emotions. Which, in turn, meant he was having strong feelings and Ravage feared, they weren't good, those feelings. He contemplated pretending not to know what his host was talking about, but this lie would be too obvious.

/I had no chance to do that before, Boss. Besides, you didn't ask/ - Ravage brought the art of lying with telling truth, only truth and nothing but truth (just not all the truth), to the new heights.

/Erase it!/ - now that was a direct order Ravage knew better than to try to disobey. So far everything went on according to his expectations, and he knew his joy at the thought flared red in his field. With luck, Soundwave would interpret it as joy of riddance.

/Data erase: completed/ - he reported. But Soundwave wasn't done with him: /If you really want to help Soundwave, meet me at the transporter docks in seven orns. And by the Allspark! HOLD YOUR GLOSSA!/ - he recited Ravage's own transmission. SCRAP! The feline totally forgot about that. /I said that to make sure he would come/ - the cat answered quickly before his creator would order him to spill everything. Again, nothing but the truth.

Soundwave drank his energon. /Your sudden taste for eradicons is of no significance to me. Your newfound desire to meddle into things beyond you is of my concern. Define "helping Soundwave"/.

Ravage's head sunk. /Help you find peace, Boss. Fix things/

/FIX. THINGS. WHAT THINGS?/ - Now there had been no mistake that the Boss Bot was engraged. Ravage didn't even have to look at his white-hot field to know he was furious. But he had no choice other than answer.

/Soundwave: unstable. Soundwave: in turmoil. Cause of turmoil: data erased. Host: damaged. Objective: fix host/ - facing the wrath of his creator Ravage turned to basic programming, stopping more complex emotional processes to avoid possible damage to his psyche.

For a split click Ravage dreaded that he would be forced to stasis, or even... deactivated.

/What is your designation?/

The cat's shot up to look at his superior pleadingly. Soundwave triggered the priorities recalibration sequence, and than meant reigning the cat in. Forcefully. /Please, Boss, don't do this!/

/Answer/

/Ravage./

/What is your class?/

/Cassette/ - With each answer Ravage's transmission got weaker, as his basic programming was suppressing his personal motivations.

/What are your primary functions?/

/Bodyguard. First aid. Spec ops/

/What are your priorities?/

/Protecting host physical integrity, serving the Decepticon Cause, self preservation/

/Is my mental stability of your concern?/

Ravage's head sunk even lower though it would seem impossible. /Negative/

Soundwave reached down, put his fingers under Ravage's chin and forced the technimal to look up to him. /Do not. Ever. Forget. Your. Place./

/...yes, Boss/ - that was barely above whisper.

Soundwave let him go. /Now to that fling with autobots/ Ravage's head shot up. Even though he surpassed his authority on that one as well, he was not taking the blame for what had been an obvious success.

/I found the report lacking. Care to fill me in?/ - Soundwave's moods seemed a little lifted now that they were done with the unpleasant part. Ravage allowed himself to lay down. The "fling" with autobots, as his boss called it, was the source of his pride. Guarding the mine had been a dull task, and at the same time ineffective. The autobots kept finding and robbing the minings and increasing the number of guards didn't work - the element of surprise and poor tactical positioning (how can you position a hole in the ground?) worked the trick for autobots every time.

Ravage realised why the guards instructions were the way they were - eradicons were neither the brightest nor quickest cons out there. But he hadn't been an eradicon.

Disobeying his immediate shift commander - no one really tried to stop him, they just assumed he had different orders, - Ravage expanded his patrol routes until he covered the whole sector. Once he spotted a Vortex - not in the nearest proximity of the mine, he sneaked closer to find out autobots intentions.

They were scanning. And as he fine-tuned his highly perceptive audials, he heard them speaking of energon readings.

So that's how they found the mines! (perhaps it had been obvious for bigger cons, but Ravage never thought of it before). Apparently, once they started mining, it wasn't enough just to keep the energon underground to shield it.

Ravage alarmed the shift commander and this time there had been no energon goodies for the 'bots, even though the casualties both on eradicons and miners were big (blasted two-wheeler managed to sneak past defences and caused mayhem among workers before cons managed to throw them back).

As they stripped that mine and moved to a new site, Ravage insisted they planted a "mock mine" to draw autobots to. /Like moths to fire/ - he added.

Let them attack a dummy, seize their prize of a couple of cubes worth and alarm the main mine. They could then attack the enemy without risking precious energon and mining equipment. It was against the orders troopers received and Ravage had to pull rank on the shift commander hinting that his line up to Soundwave was much shorter than the officer's. That was a tricky ground, he knew, but it worked! And inside the decepticon's ranks, they did not judge the winners.

/You should have sought my approval first/ - Soundwave commented.

/Ravage: retains tactical freedom when on a mission?/ - The feline tried to defend himself.

/On solitary missions - yes. Not when you boss around the troops. Next time - seek my permission first/ - this time the admonishing wasn't harsh. /Understood, Boss/

Anyway, it had worked. Three autobots that came to investigate the energon readings turned to the brightest energy scource they saw on the scanners - the unshielded energon the cons planted in a small cave.

The two guards that were placed to guard it didn't have a chance to sound the alarm, but Ravage, overlooking the trap from the nearest hill did that for them. The autobots barely seized the cubes before flyers attacked them from above.

/Two cubes of en, four wounded./ - Ravage concluded /and we stripped that mine clear unhindered/

/You were lucky. Next time they won't fall for that/ - Soundwave transmitted. He decided not to spoil kitten's moods by telling him why the autobots fell back - it was about the same time Prime seized the Star Saber from the cons. This war was fought on many levels and within his area of operations, the feline did well.

/Go cleanse the dust off - I'm calling you in/

/You're locking me in?/

/It is your primary duty/ - Soundwave pointed out with a hint of finality to his tone. /Until we resume mining at least/ - he added to soften the blow.

* * *

When it came to 'facing, Megatron considered himself an easy going mech. He usually got what he wanted - no, scratch that, - he always got what he wanted, though he rarely wanted anyone. He was an attractive mech and not just because of the power he possessed or deeds he had accomplished - he had always been noticed. At different points in life nearly all of his higher officers offered themselves to him. He rarely said "no". Even Starscream managed to challenge him into interfacing a couple of times in his own passive aggressive manner. Soundwave had never tried.

And it's not that he would need to dread a refusal. Megatron might be a tough and demanding leader, vicious even, but this never applied to the matters of off-schedule activities. He never let that influence anything else.

Now that the cat was out of the box, he was studying his comrade. Soundwave was probably the most secretive of his subordinates, at the same time he was the most loyal and reliable of them. It was always hard to 'read' Soundwave, even before he stopped using his voice. No face plates to read mimics from, no voice to carry across his emotions - Soundwave was a sealed black box. But Megatron was perceptive and over the eons he came to recognize Soundwave state of mind from tiny things like the way he moved around or the sound of his servo engines.

He never paid much attention to the way how Soundwave froze in the middle of a conversation or when the leader invaded his personal space (which turned out to be quite large a space, the TIC being a telepath and all). Soundwave was pressing down an emotional response, and it must have been one hell of a response if it required shutting down parts of his body not to let it out. Why didn't he even try? Why did he chose to bottle it all up until it burst out in such an ugly way? It wasn't the rational behaviour he would expect from his chief of surveillance.

Of course, Megatron had better things to do than to wreck his processor over his subordinate's inexplicable behavior. There was a war to win. There was a world to claim as his own. Had it been anyone else, he wouldn't care. But Soundwave's position had been unique: he was literally irreplaceable. The Cause, Megatron's own life depended on info the navy spy provided and trust was vital. How could he trust someone whose actions he couldn't fully understand?

The previous... mishap... back on Cybertron tore his trust to Soundwave apart. After a while he came to rely on the spy's info (still performing random checks on his reports from time to time), but he never let him get as close as they had been at the dawn of this war. Concealed motives meant treachery that way or the other, sooner or later, and one Orion in his life was already one too many. Even now, as he recalled that outrageous treason, Megatron felt rage swelling up. Ever since then, he had been expecting a blow in the back. Now... now he realised he missed his friend's quiet support - the support that the other never stopped providing him with.

The trip to Cybertron was exactly what he needed to sort his thoughts out. Dreadwing was respectful and didn't try to interrupt is Lord's musings with chitchat.

As two jets covered miles and miles toward their destination, Megatron called his vivid memory to order and concentrated on the task at hand: there was a Prime's grave to desecrate.


	9. Raise the stakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Primus knew, Soundwave wanted to say "yes" more than he ever wanted anything in his existence (and that including snuffing the Traitor's spark right after he saw how deeply Orion's betrayal hurt his leader). But to let Megatron know... he couldn't. Just couldn't. The navy mech lowered his head in a jerky motion and ex-vented, desperately trying to calm down._

A small win in the mines raised the troopers' spirits, but to lift off the pressure from the officers, a much bigger win was needed.

Soundwave dug in into the Iacon base yet again. He had been close! So close... Megatron was out, eager to try his new weapon against the Star Saber. It would be just perfect if his CCO managed to decipher another set of coordinates by the time the warlord got back.

If Megatron doesn't succeed, - Soundwave had all the confidence that Megatron would be victorious, but the Prime was resourceful... He knew better than to underestimate this bot. So, if Megatron doesn't succeed, a new set of coordinates would come in twice as handy.

Soundwave assaulted the keyboard. He was ready to bridge Megaron back any click, but the request never arrived. The steel jet preferred to fly. Soundwave smiled under his mask. Flying was a freedom denied to them for too long. Megatron might rationalize his flying around as a desire to savor resources, but the spy knew he simply liked it.

Soon he registered familiar footsteps vibrate through the floor. He listened in. That was definitely not a loss. Hooray! Soundwave rejoiced silently and doubled his efforts.

In few clicks...

"You should have seen the Prime's face when his precious Star Saber shattered under my blade! Priceless! " - the warlord sounded like a newb who just won his first fight on the arena. Soundwave didn't turn - with all the surveillance on, he didn't need to turn around to look at his leader. Megatron's field was bright-red, small sparkles of different emotions only making his joy brighter. It was contagious.

Soundwave gave out a soft chuckle /I wish I had seen it, my Lord/.

"Have you made any progress with the base?" - Megatron turned to him right on time to see the last piece of puzzle slide into its spot, revealing another set of coordinates. A grin appeared on his face plates, as the warlord registered his loyal followers cooling fans kick in at his proximity.

"Well done, as usual, Soundwave" - Megatron's left, steely, hand landed on Soundwave's back. He now watched the spy tense and freeze. Soundwave rerouted all his resources to self-control. /Boss, do you want me to disable body sensors?/ - Ravage asked, as technically it was his back under Megatron's palm now.

/Negative/

Megatron raised a brow. He may not be a telepath, but one didn't need to be super-perceptive to recognize that the spy was not OK. It was amusing how he tried to hide his discomfort.

The pause lingered and Megatron removed his palm and turned away. "Let's retrieve the relics before autobots catch up to us..."

Soundwave started the engines and ex-vented carefully. He was most grateful to Knockout for volunteering and driving attention away from him - so grateful, that he'd give him anything, not just the sonic disruptor.

In a matter of clicks the doctor was gone with his weapon and Soundwave set to work, despite Megatron's gaze that he felt all too acute. He wouldn't let himself get distracted.

The spy contemplated for a while if he should indeed deactivate all periphery sensors, leaving only his audials active so that he wouldn't miss an order. He didn't like the numbness that it would bring, but if it was the only way for him to excel at his job and not get bothered by Megatron's field and proximity - maybe a little numbness wasn't a big price to pay.

He cast a sideways glance at the rest of the crew. It didn't look as though anyone noticed anything unusual going on. Soundwave decided to keep this option untill it would be absolutely unavoidable and submerged into the base once again.

Knockout interrupted his work, triumphantly arriving with the relic, just as the next set of coordinates was already at his fingertips. Luckily, it also meant that Megatron's attention shifted from him and Soundwave took this opportunity to hasten up.

"Hmm...it appears identical to the one taken from me by Optimus Prime. ..perhaps, it is a decoy the autobots allowed you to seize as a means of sabotage" - the warlord said, examining the object.

Knockout seemed undisturbed by this distrust "unlikely, my Liege, they battled too desperately for it".

Soundwave brought the next set of coordinates he decoded on screen. He half expected Knockout to be sent to retrieve those as well - and obviously the doctor thought so too, but the medic was put into his place once again and sent off to analyse this mysterious piece of metal. It didn't look like succeeding at this strengthened Knockout's position much.

Before he went, though, Soundwave commed to him /Soundwave to Knockout. Sonic disruptor: not yours. Return it/

"Of course" - murmured the vehicon and set the weapon down onto an empty console as he went.

Soundwave was halfway through decoding the last set of coordinates when Dreadwing returned, battered and unsuccessful. His look was so pityful that Soundwave doubted Megatron's chew-out session would punish him any more that he was already punishing himself. Clearly, the warrior spent too much time hunting defenseless autobot refugees in deep space. Here, on Earth, nearly half of their missions went unsuccessful - no doubt, this was Prime's and the Matrix's influence. Probability scales seemed to be tipped into autobot's favor here and one had to adjust to these conditions to start winning again. Here, everything had to be done with overkill perspective. Soundwave spared Dreadwing a glance. Maybe he should have a chat with him about that. There was no particular fondness between them, but Dreadwing was a decent SIC and not so annoying as Starcream had been - and a good SIC was rare to come by... given, that he proves himself after today's fiasco.

The last set of coordinates was decoded, but it hadn't been coordinates. The three of them watched the pixels dance and form a profile image. "Latest Prime recruit?!" - Megatron exclaimed, moving closer to stand right behind Soundwave's back. /Laserbeak. New objective: Smokescreen/ - and Soundwave passed the drone the profile files and turned to show her recon feed on his vizor. The warlord was once again invading his personal space and Soundwave felt his systems heat up from constantly overruling his own reactions, but Soundwave managed, knowing that the visual feed Laserbeak sent was the center of attention now, not the spy himself. However, every nanoclick of Megatron's EMF invading his made his temperature climb a fraction of degree up. A quick calculation told him in two clicks he'd have no choice than to switch the servo engines off again.

Luckily, the target locked on screen before that.

/Soundwave to Megatron. Query: permit operation "Hit and run"?/

"By all means" - nodded the warlord and Soundwave opened a groundbridge right away, pausing only to snatch his disruptor from a console where the doctor left it. Laserbeak opened fire.

Primus, he needed to get away from the bridge! With cool wind and finally some action, Soundwave chassis thermometers returned to the blue zone almost instantly. The kid was an easy target.

The autobots were too slow. And the look on Prime's face was priceless indeed.

Soundwave proved superior once again.

* * *

The navy mech stepped through the Vortex, dragging the passed out autobot buy the arm. With a rush twist of his torso, the spy trew Smokescreen on the floor in front of the warlord. Megatron's optic flashed, but he didn't comment on it, turning to Knockout "Take care of our prisoner, doctor and find me the relic!"

Knockout shocked the prisoner with his electric rod to insure he wouldn't online just yet and commanded a couple of nearest troopers to transport the autobot to the interrogation room.

"Soundwave, I trust, Laserbeak continues searching for autobot's base?"

Soundwave hesitated: /Soundwave to Megatron: Autobot base location narrowed down to three possible spots. Laserbeak needs a refill. Recon: resume after refill/

Megatron nodded: "Excellent. Now I suggest you put your weapon back into the vault and enjoy your off-shift. Dreadwing will take over from here."

Soundwave nodded after a split-click hesitation. It was his off-shift indeed, but Megatron never felt the need to talk about it before. The spy bowed slightly and took his leave.

As he was walking through the corridors to the vault, Ravage spoke up /Boss, I have to bring up the overheat problem/

/Must you?/ - Soundwave asked in return. He had no wish to discuss it.

/Ensuring host physical integrity:my top priority. Overheat: potential threat. Alerting host:mandatory/ - yeah, that was a downside of recalibrating Ravage. Whatever delicacy the cat posessed had been gone now.

/Consider myself alerted/

/I also must indicate that.../

Footstep behind interrupted the cat, much to Soundwave's relief. Megatron caught up with him and slowed down matching the spy's relaxed pace.

Soundwave cast a glance at his field: content, a little curious, a couple of confused spots, some daring in the center... The warlord was carrying the Dark Star Saber, his intention to put the weapon to safekeeping obvious. The chance of this being a coincidence less than 5%. Apparently, there was something Megatron wished to talk about without witnesses.

Soundwave felt his spark tighten. He had a pretty clear idea what was on today's agenda. Megatron was ready to raise the stakes. Normally, Soundwave admired that in his superior. Not now though.

In silence they reached the vault.

"Switch off the cams" - Megatron said as he walked in past his CCO. Soundwave obeyed and they both watched the cams retract to the ceiling. Soundwave's mind was racing, calculating chances. So far, nothing came out solid.

Megatron proceeded with locking up the weapon and Soundwave followed his example with his sonic disruptor. When the warlord turned from the Saber and made no move to walk out, Soundwave stopped as well.

"You have performed admirably today" - the warlord said, his voice deep and confident as ever. Soundwave tilted his helm forward, acknowledging the praise. /Autobots: inferior/. "Speak up, will you?" - Megatron responded immediately, "I don't want this conversation to land in commlink"

Soundwave nodded. He was desperately trying to come up with an escape plan.

Megatron took a couple of steps to him and stopped just outside reach - close enough to brush the field against Soundwave's, but far enough not to invade it.

"I said, I would turn a blind eye toward your motivational issues if you keep it under control. Apparently, it is affecting you and your duties"

"You have performed admirably today" - Soundwave played back his own voice.

"Yes, that you did. But you can't always suppress it. This... unfinished business is becoming a hindrance. How can you function if you clamp down, when I come too close?" As if to prove his point, Megatron took a step forward and stretched his servo toward the spy's chest. The low hum of Soundwave's engines ceased immediately, even before the warlord's talon touched the metal of the spy's armor. Which it didn't. Soundwave stayed very still.

"There is no shame in asking for what you want." - Megatron said "We might as well do it and get over it. No big deal."

Soundwave didn't dare to believe his audials. Did Megatron just imply he would submit to his TIC? Chances of that to ever happen were solid zero. Soundwave checked them again. Yes, solid zero. And the spy couldn't blame him. Put in Megatron's place he too would never show this kind of vulnerability to anyone.

Adding to his confusion, Megatron's EMF showing all and any colors but one that would indicate his desire. Judging by what he saw, it was a cold calculation rather than anything emotional behind his superior's offer.

Regardless the motives, if he was really offering what Soundwave didn't dare to believe he was offering... Still, Soundwave had to be sure as well as warn Megatron ahead: "Rogue code risk: too high" - he said.

Megatron made another step toward him and was now standing right in front of the spy, making the latter tilt his helm up to keep optic contact. "I find it hard to believe that a mech of your psychic abilities has no means of protecting his systems."

His systems. Soundwave's systems. That was it. Megatron didn't offer himself for receiving, he simply disregarded Soundwave's earlier addmittance that swapping him some was had been what the spy desired all along.  
Why would he heed that indeed? Chances that Megatron would accept his code were always a solid zero.

Primus knew, Soundwave wanted to say "yes" more than he ever wanted anything in his existence (and that including snuffing the Traitor's spark right after he saw how deeply Orion's betrayal hurt his leader). But to let Megatron know... he couldn't. Just couldn't. The navy mech lowered his head in a jerky motion and ex-vented, desperately trying to calm down.

Megatron gave him a split click before pressing his palm to the navy chest plate and asking "So what do you say?"

Soundwave's spark was beating wildly in the spark chamber, eager to get closer to the object of its desire, and the spy switched off his sensors. Everything got much clearer the very instant. Soundwave raised his helm to look at Megatron again: "No." - he said, stepping back.

Megatron rose a brow ridge. Was that part of a game his spy played? It certainly did hook him up a little. "What if I order you to?" - the warlord asked in what was meant to be low and seductive voice.

Immediately the atmosphere in the vault shifted. Lights seemed to grow dimmer and Soundwave taller, though he barely moved. Megatron's mind was heavy and racing, heavy buzz invading his audials as he suddenly realised he was talking to the second most dangerous decepticon out there after himself. Guessing this was the telepath lashing out on him, Megatron held his ground and refused to be intimidated by the oppressing presence.

Soundwave looked ready for a fight. Apparently, he had assumed a wrong approach. For half a click neither moved, then the TIC said, his voice dry and crisp: "Query: am I dismissed?"

Megatron nodded and watched his spy walk to the door only to turn back in few steps. Megatron's face plates shifted into a smirk. Did he change his mind already?

"You don't need to give me any false hopes, Megatron. I will stand by your side regardless" - Soundwave used his own voice for a change and Megatron nodded "noted". The spy walked out.

The warlord stared at the closed door for a while. Had his TIC always been so ridiculously stubborn? It looked like he had miscalculated something.

* * *

As Soundwave reached his chamber, the first thing he did was let Ravage out. The cat flooded their link with questions, but Soundwave shut off and said aloud: "I want to cleanse myself. In silence. Whatever you have to say will have to wait".

The technimal lyed down on the floor - a picture of patience and compliance. Soundwave gave him a nod and stepped into the wash rack. Re-activated sensors were itchy and cleaner felt soothing.

When he stepped out of the rack he found both his symbionts sitting head-to-head, apparently sharing info through direct link. Great.

He restored the links to them.

/SOUNDWAVE WHY HAVE YOU REFUSED? YOU WANTED IT!/ - the combined query seemed deafening.

/No. Not this. Not like this/ - Soundwave probably should put them into place but he was too exhausted to do it now.

/You're longing for Primus knows how long, you're suffering, you rape and kill for the sake of your hurt feelings, and when he finally comes around and is ready to reciprocate, you go all high moral?!/

/We are not discussing my personal life/ -Soundwave responded, his transmission strained.

/It's not your personal life/ - Ravage commed back - /it affects us all. I compared your reaction to my pre-Regulon record and you're losing it. You're heating up 18% faster and it takes you 16% longer to cool down. And sorry, but it is my duty to bring that up!/

Soundwave felt the rage swell up /I've said my word. You should desist/ - his transmission was deceptively quiet, and probably it had been a warning, but Ravage either missed it or didn't care: /It's not fair! Had Rumble been here, he'd tell you that since it influences us all we all get a say in this matter../

/WELL, RUMBLE IS NOT HERE! AND FRENZY IS NOT HERE! Because a certain cat couldn't follow the battle protocol and let them die!/

Ravage's optics went round as he stared at his creator. It hurt so much that for a nanoclick he expected his spark to burst. Then he bolted out of the door.

/Ravage, I'm sorry! I don't really blame you!/ - Soundwave commed after him, immediately regretting his words, but the cat was not responding. Soundwave sat on the berth and sank his head into his servos. His life was such a mess!

/Wow... that was harsh/ - Laserbeak commed calmly. Soundwave raised his head to look at her then shut off her link.

"Refill, recharge, be back on recon duty in five orns" - he said before falling visor down into the berth. He was so tired of it all. /Ravage, I am sorry. I have no reason to believe they would survive if you had reached them in time. Have a shift off to yourself, if you need, but come back, OK?/

There was no answer, but Soundwave was sure Ravage was still in the link, listening. He was already drifting off into recharge when a soft "ok" reached him.


	10. Fundamental law of the Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Doug is proud of himself, Ravage obtains a new goal, Soundwave meets an important decision and Megatron reflects upon fundamental laws of the Universe.  
>  Oh, and: Dreadwing is boring, Knockout gets locked out and the deserter makes a glorious return._

Ravage ran. He heard Soundwave's apology in the link but couldn't make himself comm back. Soundwave's cruel words were stinging him again and again and the technimal ran faster and faster, until he reached the transporter docks. The navigation subroutine must have used the last route he took from the TIC's room... The dock was deserted now, submerged in relative darkness, and Ravage holed up in an empty niche between some bulky mining equipment to think.

Ever since he got back online after repairs the feline refused to recall the events that preceded his deactivation. Now it would seem he had no choice - the files surfaced on their own accord.

_In the heat of the battle it was hard to assess the situation. He eviscerated his opponent and located his host. Soundwave was on the other side of the valley, hacking through and Ravage moved to intercept, to help him..._  
/GET THE TWINS!/ - Soundwave's transmission was somewhat frantic, and Ravage located Laserbeak circling above a small ruin on the hill, and changed direction toward her. Laserbeak was shooting at advancing enemy and that meant she had something to protect there. Deducting, that one or probably both twins took cover there, Ravage sped up. The 'bots knew better than to approach the two minicons, their ability to cause madness and destruction infamous. Instead, they drowned the small ruin in fire. "Hurry!' he heard Frenzy shout. "Rumble's damaged!". There was no way Frenzy would manage to get his twin out of there and all the way back to Soundwave while keeping autobots at bay. Ravage ran, without even slowing down to kill his obstacles. He was nearly on the two Cassettes when the grenades flew in.  
The blast was huge. He was blinded, hit... Falling... Failing 

He had failed them.

_Next thing he remembered was waking up in sort of a medbay, as Soundwave's feelers were working on his cabling. /I'm sorry. I wasn't fast enough/ - he commed trying to catch Soundwave's gaze, but the spy's optic were hidden behind a visor. /Not your fault/ - his host responded without slowing his work down. /84% chance to lose you too if you'd reached them earlier. Off now/ - the last part was an order and Ravage slid back into stasis_

Had Soundwave lied then? Was he lying now? He was sent to fetch the twins, but it had been an ambush and Soundwave was shot out of the sky. His programming demanded he protected his host. But his mission was to evacuate the twins. He failed either way.

Ravage put his aching head on his paws. He felt an urge to heave and empty his energon tanks. It would hardly make him feel any better, so he suppressed this urge. He missed them both so much. They had been loud, mischievous little brats, obnoxious and annoying beyond measure, but Rumble's sence of right and wrong and Frenzy's inventive pranks made up for their shortcomings. If he could only talk to them...

If he could only talk to anybody for that matter. Ravage's voice box was capable of a very limited set of sounds. He could slur out a few words, but the effort it required made anything closer to a phrase impossible. The twins usually helped him out when he wanted to communicate with anyone, or he could use Soundwave's access to commlink. Now they were gone and there was no way he would reach out to his host yet. Ravage was isolated. Alone.

Most of the time if was cool to be Soundwave's cassette, but right now it slagged a big one.

/Ravage, I am sorry. I have no reason to believe they would survive if you had reached them in time. Have a shift off to yourself, if you need, but come back, OK?/ - came Soundwave's comm. Ravage felt his jaws tighten. Was it a lie? Was it true?

Did he have a choice eventually? Soundwave could order him come back any time. The host was giving him some freedom and that spoke more than any apology.

But still Ravage couldn't bring himself to answer. The cat rose. He needed to talk to someone, anyone, and there was only one mech other than Soundwave onboard at the moment who could hear him.

* * *

Doug didn't seem surprised to see Ravage at all. The cat looked up his current assignment and found him repairing damaged sliders in one of the corridors. At least one of the two vehicons doing it should be Doug.

As the cat stopped, deciding how to identify the one he needed, one of the eradicons looked up to see him and nudged the other : 'Look who's here'. The second took a split click to finish wielding whatever it was he was wielding at the moment and looked up too. "Hey!" - he said cheerfully, standing up. "Say, Steve, can you finish it up alone?"

The other waved him off "go, lover boy, I'll manage". Doug thanked him and walked toward the technimal, who continued just looking at them and made no attempt to come closer. As Doug approached he noticed tension and something kin to despair in the feline's pose and the way his audials, usually proudly standing, now slumped down and his tail was touching the floor. Ravage's optics were wide and slightly unfocused and a little darker than last time they'd met.

"Hey.." - he repeated softly, kneeling down on one knee before the cat "what's wrong?'

Ravage looked into eradicon's inexpressive face plates and commed /Can we.. talk?/

"Sure. What about? Are you OK, Ravage?'

Ravage shook his head negative and started walking off back to the transporter dock. It was deserted and a place as good as any.

Doug followed him making small talk that Ravage wasn't really listening to until something in eradicon's speech caught his attention:

"... somebody must have neglected it, so no one really noticed how but the thing started up and just rolled off drilling randomly. And I stopped it! Everyone was just "A!" and "Oh!" and barely managed to get out of the driller's way, and I thought "Doug! That's your chance to prove you're not just anyone!" So I rolled after it and I jumped up it and switched it off! They said I got my nets fried by you guys, but ever since... you know... my nets are better than anyone's!... Though the shift chief thinks I managed to react so quickly because I had been the one responsible for it to cut loose in the first place. So he made me repair the doors." - Doug seemed genuinely happy and proud of himself despite being wrongly punished, and Ravage didn't interrupt him untill they were in the docks and it got clear that they've reached their destination.

"So..." Doug glanced around - they were alone, "what's on your mind?"

Ravage hesitated a moment before spurring /he blames me for their death/.

"Who blames you for whose death? Soundwave?"

Ravage ex-vented and looked up at the con with embarrassment. /Could you just... hold me?/

Doug just stared at him for a moment before sitting down on the floor carefully "Sure"

Ravage got on his lap and leaned against the vehicon's chest plates. Even though it was just the eradicon, and Ravage didn't really trust the guy, it was nice to feel the other's warm metal pressed to his.

"..So whose death?" - Doug asked softly.

/twins/

"Oh, you mean... Frenzy and Rumble, right? They've read they had died heroes." When Ravage looked up at his plates, he explained "I looked it up in the archives. Battle for Regulon, right?"

Ravage nodded.

"Why would he blame you?"

/My mission was to evacuate them. I failed/ And slowly, with long pauses Ravage told him about that busted cycle. For some time they were just sitting in silence. Then the eradicon spoke up

"... you know, not every mission is successful. I'm sure, your host knows you did everything you could." And Doug finally dared to stroke Ravage along the spinal strut. Ravage let him do it two times before stopping the vehicon

/Don't. You are triggering my battle protocols/ Doug removed his servo hastily. /I just don't get why he lashed out at me like that.../ Ravage commed.

"Does it have something to do with the package you left me?"

Ravage glanced at him /... a package?/

"Last time we fragged? You swapped me a package for safekeeping - don't you recall?"

The feline moved away from him and turned to face him /"Last time" implies there had been numerous occasions./

"Well I hope there will be. You didn't seek me out to just talk, did you? And you will have to get your deposit from me" Doug felt bold enough to ghost his hand along the feline's tail, which, he knew, contained his 'facing cabling.

Ravage moved his tail away. /I don't recall you being this shameless before. Do you know what's in that package?/

Doug laughed softly "I'm not gonna lie, I've tried looking into it. But you know yourself how well it's encrypted"

/Ri..ight/

Ravage was thinking rapidly. He didn't remember this and his 'facing logs were predictably scrambled. One could only assume he deleted this info. Or Soundwave made him delete it. Should he get it back now? His host was unstable. There was no telling when he would make Ravage go through another logs sync. Yet... maybe it could explain his creator's behavior? The cat hesitated.

/I want it back./ - he finally said.

* * *

It took some time and a lot of awkward explanations to make Doug beep the binary of the encrypted archive. The eradicon had presumed it would take another interface for Ravage to take the package back, but there was a disappointment in store for him: being a cassette, Ravage was single-ported. Sometime during the conversation the cat realised he was alright - the feeling of disorientation and loss of purpose that engulfed him before had dissolved. The more Ravage thought about it, the more obvious it became that his host was malfunctioning and it was up to him to fix him. After all, it had been his primary duty.

There was something else. Ravage realised that he didn't answer Soundwave's last question. He sent him an "ok".

Beeping was stupid. But Doug did it anyway. As the package was received, restored and decrypted, Ravage's optics rounded. "So what's in there?" - Doug asked impatiently, looking at the stunned technimal.

/This is not for you to know/ - Ravage responded before taking off in canter.

"Wait! This is all I get? You sprint off and we don't fragg?!" - Doug called out. /Later/ came the answer.

* * *

Soundwave came online earlier than usual. His circuits were still ablaze from what happened in the vault and even the chilling guilt from lashing out on Ravage didn't cool him down enough for a peaceful recharge. If Megatron really was seeking to 'fix' him, he wouldn't stop until he got him 'fixed'. Decepticon leader wasn't fond of half-measures and unfinished business. Soundwave couldn't let him know of his weakness. Weak was inferior and Soundwave could not be inferior. The weak had no place among the decepticons, not to mention so high up the chain of command. Not to mention so close to Megatron himself...

There was nothing Soundwave would want more than to take his leader up on his offer. There was nothing less likely to ever happen to him. The whole situation was descending into madness so quickly! He was losing control. He had to find a way to stop it.

Soundwave weighted his options. The only way to stop Megatron from messing him up any further was to convince the warlord that he was "fixed". Unfortunately, he knew only one way to do that. He would block his telepathy and deactivate his fine sensors. It would render him numb and somewhat disoriented, but he didn't really have a choice.

Having met this decision, Soundwave settled more comfortably to complete his recharge and his wing clang against Ravage, who was curled up beside him. The technimal onlined one optic and looked at his host. Soundwave felt a surge of guilt.

/I'm sorry, kitten. I didn't mean what I said/

/I don't know what exactly you're apologizing for, Boss, but there's no need - I have erased whatever you said/

/Oh. Good/

Ravage closed his optic and returned to his feline dreamland and Soundwave suddenly wished he could join him. He only had two and a half orns of his off-shift left and it still felt as though he hadn't powered down at all. He commed to Megatron: /Soundwave to Megatron: Query. Permission to extend off-shift? Additional recharge time required/

Megatron's answer was dry and short: /Granted. Three orns/

Soundwave smiled warily behind his visor /Thank you, my Liege/

* * *

By this time Megatron had suspected that it was one of the fundamental laws of the Universe, undiscovered yet due to his own and other cons criminal neglect only: strange things happened on Nemesis when Soundwave was away from the bridge. Last time when the TIC took a shift off (which the spy did rarely) Starscream's clones tried to assassinate the warlord and they might have prevailed if not for Airachnid choosing the same time to exact her vengeance. Megatron had won the day, as usual, but this things just didn't happen when Soundwave was on his post.

When Soundwave rejected him (which Megatron still found difficult to fit into his processor - he would need to think about it later), the warlord suspected that it was just the beginning of strange occurences that were coming his way. Knockout, stuck in a wall, surely counted as a strange thing. So, Prime's new recruit wasn't that rookie after all..

Furious at the loss of mysterious, but obviously treasured by the autobots, artefacts, Megatron deemed it necessary to punish the vane doctor. Let him hang a little.

The warlord didn't know what these things could do, but if autobots needed them so badly, they had to capture them first.

Few orns passed and no more strange things occurred. Dreadwing insisted upon troops inspection, which was reasonable considering it would be his first inspection as his first lieutenant and military commander and it would do good to boost morale among seekers.

As Megatron and his SIC were returning to the bridge, the warlord checked his internal clock and was glad that less than three orns were left of Soundwave's off shift. It wasn't that he missed the navy mech, but surely there couldn't be that many strange things to occur in two and a half orns?

Turns out, the universe wasn't done with him yet.

There, at his command console was Starscream with all four artefacts. Soundwave chose this very moment to ask for more off time and this was also new. The spy had never asked for additional personal time before.

"Granted. Three orns" - and Megatron returned his attention to his former SIC. Three orns should be enough for this to fully play out.


	11. Ill timing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave chose an ill time to let go of his main weapon and at the same time the source of his turmoil. It was logical. Now he has to face the consequences.

Did Starscream expect there would be some kind of test before he would be truly allowed to come back? Definitely, he did. Was he expecting a cortical patch? Definitely, not. For a moment he thought that was an overkill on his leader's part, but then he realized, everything Megatron did here so far was an overkill and even then, not all his plans came to successful realization. Did he blame his leader for wanting to be hundred percent sure of his trustworthiness? Not really. But slag, it would be hard to convince him that past was past and that he himself was not the con that had left this ship months ago.

Plus, there was another SiC now and that had also to be taken into consideration. The Seeker knew, relics alone, however valuable they were, would not redeem him from his treason. He would be lucky to get an officer position at all. But that would be a start. His Armada loved him. Not enough to support him if he was to rebel against their one true Master, but choosing between their Air Commander and Dreadwing? phleeaze.

So this here was when the key battle would take place. Ironically, this battle between him and Megatron would not be for power, but for Megatron's trust - which, come to think of it, was power itself among decepticons. And Starscream was very determined to gain it back.   
Knockout set up the equipment and the seeker suppressed a shudder when the warlord's entity invaded his mind. He knew there will be a lot to explain and braced for it, baring the most controversial and dangerous memories. The only thing he attempted to hide was the fact that he had lost his t-cog. 

He tried to be cocky, but it was clear from the beginning that these were not equal negotiations. He was reduced to begging for a chance to come back - and the realisation of the depth of his fall hurt his pride. But however low he fell, it was worth falling lower to get his wings back. Beg, kneel, lick dirt at Megatron's pedes, and surrender anything - anything! - to get his T-cog back into his frame. 

If Megatron knew he was now locked in his robot form... he would know the Seeker was completely at his mercy, he would not need to bargain for anything - why, if he could just take it all. Revealing a weakness like this was like signing your own death sentence - a flier without wings was a joke not worth anything. But as they progressed through his memories, Starscream realized with horror, he would not be able to hide it. He was merely a passenger for this ride. 

However, Megatron had surprised him. As soon as the warlord understood, that his former second had lost the one probably most precious thing in the universe for him, something shifted in the decepticon's leader vermillion optics. Softly, unlike his earlier ruthless words, the warlord asked: "You have lost _your wings_?" Megatron knew what it meant for a seeker. It wasn't some plot to trick him into another outrageous treachery. It was Starscream begging for his help as much as his seeker's pride would let him, reaching out to Megatron from his own personal hell, and Megatron would be slagged if he didn't pull him out. To whatever outcome.

* * *

'Well, this is awkward..' - Knockout murmured, feeling Dreadwing's chasis beside him tense at the revelation about his brother's demise and post-mortem development. Knockout threw a desperate glance at the bomber, at loss of suitable things to say, but he needed not to worry - Dreadwing wouldn't have heard him anyway.

It was almost visible how the proverbial puzzle pieces and gears shifted and rolled around in Dreadwing's processor. Knockout could almost relate to the pain of romantic fleur being ripped off the decepticon Cause. He would relate if this was anyone but Dreadwing. This con earned every ounce of hurt. Breakdown died under his command. He had been responsible.  
So Knockout made sure he ignored the SiC as much as this was possible. The red vehicon switched all attention to the screens and didn't even notice when the other officer took his leave.

Dreadwing marched through Nemesis. When Megatron asked if he was feeling repulsive against desecrating a grave, he denied any effect it had on him. But there has been a huge difference between some ancient Prime and his brother! Skyquake had been deeply loyal to Megatron, he deserved to be treated with honor in death as well as in life! 

Things have been all kind of wrong ever since he arrived on this forsaken rock. Was it the decepticon way now to use and discard loyalty in autocracy's best traditions?! Was it dark energon influence? 

The bomber stopped abruptly, not daring to ask the next question even in the privacy of his own processor. It asked itself nevertheless. If obviously Megatron knew what happened to Skyquake and was not disturbed by this sacrilege, if it had been him and not Starscream, would he have turned his brother's corpse to terrorcon all the same?

It was a scary thought. A treacherous thought, but Dreadwing knew the answer to that.

Turning abruptly, the bomber marched with renewed purpose. Everything got so perverted here. He had to put a stop to all this. The disappointment was eating at his spark and pulsed in his footsteps. Megatron was evil and had to be stopped. Decepticons were corrupted and had to be put down. And if it demanded him to taint his spark with dishonor, so be it. Starscream had to die no matter the cost. The bomber nurtured no illusion: this was a one-way road. He would tip the war scales back as best as he could, kill Starscream, and join his brother in the AllSpark with his duty fulfilled. And he knew exactly a thing that could tip the scales now. 

Turning the corner, Dreadwing saw the Chief communication officer walk toward him. The jet suppressed the initial urge to run, and masked his reaction pretending to check something on his datapad. He beat down panic and called up an ancient chanting teaser that Skyquake used to pester him with. It was absolutely meaningless, but the combination of tones was catchy and took on almost all processing resources in insistent repetition.  
Still, part of the SiC cringed expecting his mental crime to be discovered. Dark visor inscrutable, the spy walked toward him steadily. Dreadwing carefully reset his vocalizer and issued the most formal greeting he could master at the moment. Soundwave's helm dipped down sharply returning the greeting and the navy con walked by.

* * *

Additional orns of recharge did him good. After Soundwave onlined and ran a routine periphery check, he recalled his decision to turn off finer sensor system. That would render him numb, but at the same time, he knew, it would make things so much clearer. No more confusing fields , no more other mechs - the other mech's - thoughts to meddle into his...

He gathered his courage and ran the deactivating sequence.

The world around him got dull, but as he could feel the logic subroutines gain priority over intuition and emotional block, he could assess and analyze his situation so much clearer. Looking back onto everything that happened since the Uprising, he had spent much effort on honing his skills as well as strengthening his will and at this point he was a figure of power, albeit silent, both his allies and enemies respected and feared. He was relentless, unwavering, clever and patient. He was never the center of spotlights, that placed was reserved for Megatron, he stayed closer to shadows. And those shadows he owned.

He could be anywhere and everywhere. A faceless visor seemed to emphasize the infinite number of eyes and ears he might turn on any con out there at any given moment. He saw everything and used everything to further his cause. All Decepticons had their own agenda, but his happened to be the Decepticon Cause. 

Granted, he was cold and creepy but that was constantly cold and steadily creepy that you could rely upon.

That is why when he acted rash and out of line everyone - everyone! - thought there must be something he knew. Because he knew everything. Someone was probably paying for some hidden crime. Soundwave killed an autobot messenger? There must have been an assassination attempt he prevented! He raped the autobot before killing him and sent the footage to broadcast?! He must have been sending a warning message to other assassins. A creepy message, at that.

But you know, protective kind of creepy. 'Beware of our wrath!' kind of creepy. 

One thing they got right: Soundwave did, indeed, know it all. He knew there was nothing to justify his actions. No matter how hard he worked to build himself up a solid and reasonable mech, when he turned his numerous proverbial optics inwards he still saw himself for what he truly had been: a broken toy, a jaded chunk of sentient metal, and the irregular shards of his psyche were standing out against the blackness that filled the cracks between them.

Underneath his right-founded pride, inside the fortress of reason and intellect that he'd built, he was not mending. He was not mending at all.

It was only logical to lock all that mess away, seal it in powered down periphery. Even if it meant letting go of a rare and valuable ability he possessed. The upkeep for the luxury of seeing into the core of things was too high.  
Of course, his symbionts noticed the change instantly. Laserbeak was far away on her recon duty, but she pinged him with worry. Ravage's audials shot up, alert, at the change of his host's systems sound.

/Are you okay, boss?/ - Ravage asked after a click hesitation.

/Soundwave: functional/ - the spy responded to both his symbionts. He motioned Ravage to stay in their chamber and walked out, heading toward the bridge /Soundwave: back on duty/ he commed on the way. Megatron did not respond, but his life signal was strong and surprisingly in med bay. Something must have happened while he had been in recharge. As usual. There was probably a whole mess for him to clear after the extended off-shift, not mentioning all the surveillance data he had to sync and analyze now.  
Soundwave's pace remained measured and steady as he answered Dreadwing's greeting and walked on toward the bridge.

* * *

Every time Soundwave took a shift off there would be a pile of information to sort through when he returned. This time, however, the news was so flashy he didn't have to fish it out. As soon as Megatron disconnected from the cortical psychic patch, a batch of orders was issued including the order to restore Starscream into commlink. That certainly was the big news. 

Still, the surveillance logs were to be checked, and it took the Communication Officer nearly an orn to perform the sync, and only after Dreadwing's return was reported, did Soundwave discover his absence.

Neither the purpose of his trip nor the destination were not logged into the system, so Soundwave dug into surveillance again. His findings made him fly through Nemesis corridors to intercept the warlord. This was beyond urgent.

Megatron received the frantic data burst and frowned. 'Where is he now?'  
Almost immediately the commlink responded with a distress call from Starscream. Not waiting for an order, Soundwave opened a ground bridge to med bay.

No one mourned Dreadwing.


	12. Chapter 12

Ravage was partly glad that he had a work shift coming up - the change in his host was elusive but frustrating and the technimal still hadn't decided on his next course of action. Hanging around risked him a new sync and he should avoid that. Luckily, Soundwave was busy.

Besides, it came to his mind that he had an unfullfilled promise and he didn't like to be indebted, even if it was just an eradicon. No, scratch that. The eradicon.

He wouldn't come as far as to admit he was looking forward to seeing his frag toy as he called Doug in the privacy of his processor, but he would admit anticipating an outdoor shift.

This planet might be incredibly dusty, but it also was a new world to explore and he loved that.

On his way to transporter docks, the feline noticed how crowded the corridors suddenly became. Agitation was in the air. Usually, the grunts tried to hide their conversations from him (futile effort, his hearing was far superior to theirs) - he might be part of the mine guard now, but they never forgot his ties to the TIC. Soundwave had a reputation, and it overshadowed his symbionts. Ravage was used to it. It had always been this way for the cassettes.

He didn't expect anything but grudging tolerance and mild suspicion from his fellow eradicons.

However, there was always first time for everything.

'Hey, Ravage!' - he was surprised to be heartily greeted by an eradicon that wasn't Doug, and nodded lightly in response. In a moment the whole mine shift crowded him.

'Is it true?' - they were all asking, and he had to strain his vocalizer to slurr "whhaat?"

There was a commotion and Doug was pushed forward accompanied by 'ask him, ask him!'. The eradicon sat down to level his gaze with the feline. He too seemed over excited.

'Is it true that we're going to restore Cybertron? We are going home?'

The cat tilted his head aside. /why do you think it?/ - he commed.

'Starscream said so to Knockout. They found a way to use those relics. And then the mining operation was put on hold. Are we going to Cybertron instead? All of us?'

There was some muffled murmur in the background about Seekers claiming all the glory as usual... Other voices were heard...the tension between different troops had always been present.

/I cannot impart information/ - the cat commed carefully

'Come on, really?! Surely your host knows?'

Ravage suddenly felt very uncomfortable, being the center of everyone's attention. Of course, Soundwave knew. He tried their telepatic link, but it was shut off.

/Wanna go ask him?/ - he suggested, well aware that the eradicon would chicken out. However DOUG surprised him. "ask him?' - he echoed and made a nervous gesture as if he really wanted to go and at the same time was afraid to. The other eradicons were watching their silent conversation, as people would a ping-pong match. They couldn't receive Ravage's frequency, but DOUG was speaking aloud and that had been enough to follow.

/Alright, I will ask/ - Ravage turned and sprinted off toward the bridge. He was eager to get away from the spotlights. Certainly not for the sake of eradicons, but his curiosity was peaking and he had to know. Besides, with mine shift cancelled, he had no reason to hang out in transporter docks anyway.

As he ran away, Doug stood up, feeling smug and even kind of a hero. 'Told you, he is a kitten really' - he said to his fellows.

* * *

/Is it true?/

Soundwave did not turn to face his oldest creation as the technimal ran onto the bridge and pinged him a question. Ravage was not normally the one to intrude in his work time, but luckily, Megatron was not present to send the technimal away. The spy went on with his task and waited for explanation. None came.

/query: impossible to answer unless further details provided/ - he finally commed back.

Ravage grinned, baring his fangs shortly. Any normal con would just say "what?", but 'normal' never applied to his host.

/We are going to Cybertron? To restore it? Is this true?/ The cybercat was so excited he was nearly bouncing around his host, making other cons on the bridge step aside to avoid collision with him.

/Affirmative. Omega lock location: established. Keys: present. Time: of the essence/

/Do you want me to dock?/. This time Soundwave did pause his work to look down into honest and hopeful optics.

/Negative. Soundwave: not part of this operation. I will remain behind./

/But... who is coming if not us? We deserve it more than anyone!/

/Ravage, desist/ - Soundwave transmission hadn't been stern, but rather sympathetic, - /Our presence: needed on Nemesis. Strascream: needs to be briefed.../ he made a pause, hesitating whether he should tell his cassette more and decided to go for it: /autobots attack: anticipated/.

Ravage huffed, but didn't dare to press the matter further. If Megatron ordered them to stay behind, there was no sense in questioning that order.

The feline lay down on the floor beside the navy peds and curled his scaly tail around one of them. The news of Cybertron restoration lost part of its allure when he found out that he would not be part of it.

/Who's coming then? There's been a lot of speculation among eradicons. They are mostly sure, Seekers will steal all the glory as usual.../

/Gossip on this ship: extensive. Apparently, workload: lacking/ - Soundwave responded, barely sparing his cassette a glance. Ravage caught up on the joke and sent a laughing glyph back. /But seriously: there is a heated argument about it/

/Patience: a virtue/.

Indeed, in less than 5 breems the cat's curiosity was rewarded: Megatron addressed the whole crew over commlink and loudspeakers with an inspiring speech and announced every unit should send best-scoring cons to contribute into restoring the Cybertron (except medical, communications and seekers, whose contribution was tremendous and will never be forgotten as it is).

Nemesis felt like buzzing beehive now with all kinds of cons running, communicating, checking their scores and rejoicing or letting out disappointed sounds as they discovered they did not meet the requirements. The bridge turned into a still spot in the eye of the storm, and Soundwave was the source of this calm: he and the bridge shift went along with their chores in bau mode. The spy sent two of his subordinates to assist with navigating on Cybertron (and Laserbeak to maintain video translation) - the cons were now refreshing their maps getting ready for bridging.

Megatron entered and was the concentration embodied as he stopped beside the spacebridge console and asked softly: 'How close to the Omega Lock can you bridge us?'

Soundwave answered without hesitation: /Soundwave to Megatron: aiming discrepancy: within one orn's drive. Aim adjustment: possible after initial recon on the spot./

The warlord nodded: "Make sure Laserbeak performs the recon right after bridging. We don't know the extent of destruction in the Sea of Rust."

Soundwave nodded his agreement and altered Laserbeak's orders.

Had he not been numb as a drone with his abilities disabled, he would be high on anticipation - the ship was so full of it, it affected even those cons who were usually not feeling the fields... anyone but him.

However, he still felt logically elated: the restoration of Cybertron would be a final blow to autobots. It would mean victory.

All preparations were completed in less than a cycle and as the restoration party had already assembled on the upper deck, Soundwave still hadn't finished his simulations.

Starscream appeared on the bridge, looking shiny and proud of himself and the sight of him wasn't irritating for a change. Soundwave knew, the Seeker would love to come too, to be the one to launch the restoration, as he had played a great role in making this moment possible, but he was fresh from the surgery and Knockout hadn't cleared him for transformation yet.

Megatron passed the command to him and grinned in response to his 'I will watch the nest for you, Master'. On his way out, the steel jet paused beside his SiC to put his palm on the seeker's shoulder. Starscream did his best not to flinch and nearly succeeded. "We are going home" - Megatron said with emphasis, and Starscream's wings flicked up with delight at this gesture.

As the 'best of the best' finally left for their historical mission, swelling with right-founded pride and elation, the atmosphere on the bridge shifted noticeably. Soundwave plugged all his datacables into the console and maxed out all his surveillance, ready to voice alert the moment autobots are spotted. There was no doubt they knew what was on the stakes even without Dreadwing's treason. Numerous cam feeds and scans flicked across his big console screen too quick for anyone but him to realize what they were showing.

Starscream paced around the bridge and finally came to stand behind the spy's right shoulder - the place Megatron usually preferred.

Ravage raised his head to look at the seeker questioningly.

'I see you got your cassette fixed' - the seeker observed mildly. Soundwave gave a barely perceptible nod. Then he untangled one of the feelers from console and offered Starscream a data crystal.

/Starscream: needs to be briefed on latest events/

The seeker took the offered crystal and eyed the spy's back for a moment: "What happened to you, I wonder? You've changed"

Ravage gave a short warning growl just to remind the seeker of the boundaries he intended to guard.

/Soundwave to Starscream: the crystal: contains all the information required/

The SiC huffed: "You could at least be polite and lie that you're glad I'm back."

/Soundwave: glad you are back/ - the navy back responded indifferently.

Starscream grinned his small grin and murmured 'You're too kind' before plugging in the datacrystal.

The party to Cybertron bridged even closer to Omega Lock coordinates than Soundwave initially promised his leader. After defining their location, Megatron ordered everyone to transform and walk the rest of the way to the Lock. This was a grand moment and he wanted every last one of his troopers to feel it to the core.

Soundwave was frantically searching for autobot activity, but found none. Could they get lucky this one time? Hardly.

Laserbeak provided video feed from Cybertron, and all the cons on the bridge (as well as in the mess hall and other places where Soundwave transmitted this feed) were watching what finally seemed to be a victory parade.

Turned out it was too soon to parade yet.

Everything transpired so rapidly that Nemesis crew didn't have time to react especially noting that even with the bridge on there was the delay in signal's passing. So they could only watch.

One moment the cons were attacked by the autobots and engaged in battle (Soundwave mentally kicked himself - he should have foreseen this use of the Forge), and the next there was the Spark Extractor.

The feed was lost and the bridge froze in shocked silence. Everyone, except Soundwave, who was desparately pinging the symbiont bond until Laserbeak's responding ping put him at ease.

\- Soundwave, - came Megatron's voice over the commlink, - I need reinforcements.

The common 'phew' of relief at him being alive circled around the room. Before Soundwave managed to answer, however, Starscream stepped up.

\- Master, - he said, - Soundwave has briefed me on your recent developments and I believe I have a contigency plan...

Starscream's plan had been good. It had been probably one of the best plans he ever offered, but it still didn't work out.

Cons lost their best troops, the Omega Lock was destroyed, the Keys and all hope of restoring Cybertron were lost forever. Soundwave's long fingers grazed against his chestplate as if he wanted to peel it open. It was all his fault.

Logics had no mercy: if Soundwave didn't shut down his telepathy, he would have discovered Dreadwings treason before the bomber jet acted it out. He could have stopped him. He had no right placing his personal comfort over the Cause's interests. In a way, he too had committed a treason even if no one laid this blame on him.

Megatron was furious. For eons the warlord had been turning despair into white-hot fury that drove mechs forward. It was the driving force behind the Uprising, even though few realized the true nature of insatiable decepticon urge for conquest. Megatron turned the low caste despair into fury and let them against oppression. He was doing it again now, though it had hardly been necessary - if there was one emotion dominating the entire decepticon ship now, it was RAGE.

The Prime may have won this round, but autobot base was a secret no more and if the cons could not restore Cybertron because of the autobots, it was only fit if they claimed this human planet as their new home. Kill the autobots, enslave the ingenious inhabitants. It was only justice.

An attack on autobot base was launched almost immediately after Megatron's return. The warlord didn't even take time to replace the arm that Prime cut off. His fury demanded to be unleashed without delay.

As the Starscream's Armada flew into battle, Soundwave used a small gap between urgent tasks to turn his sensors back on. He rarely made mistakes, but when he did, the consequences had always been dire.

Like that time on Regulon... Soundwave broke and rerouted all thoughts about it. Now was not the time to fall apart.

* * *

Ravage was searching for autobot corpses in the debris that only recently had been a strong and well-defended secret base. His chemical sampling and smell detection were superior among the con forces, but even he could barely distinguish autobot traces in this mess of molten metal, dust and overwhelming stench of organics.

Around him, the vehicons were digging into the slag, relying on their optics and luck rather than smell. They were looking for grey-out chassises to confirm the kills, but so far there had been only a few trinkets you could barely call tropheys and no autobots, dead or alive.

Megatron was supervising the search himself, his thirst for Optimus Prime's death unsated and palpable in his every movement.

Ravage picked up a scent and followed it to a large pile of debris. He growled, indicating a trace, but those around him weren't paying attention. He had to hit the nearest eradicon with his whip of a tail to get his attention and make him start digging. The eradicon objected. Loudly.

However, the commotion attracted Starscream's attention and the SiC, having more wits than his grunts, ordered them to dig.

They dug out the remnants of a space bridge.

The autobots were in the wind.


End file.
